Sometimes I Write

Friday night the kids and I took Alan to the Downtown Aquarium. We had a family date there a few months ago and had a blast. We saw all the same stuff, and even hand fed the stingrays again. I even got Petey to do it with a little help from the Mommy. Max was so excited to be able to touch them even though it scared him a little. After spending the money to go to the Aquarium, you’ll never guess what the big hit of the night was. The Octopus shaped bouncy house out in front of the building…That’s right…The FREE thing was their favorite. I wasn’t sure if I was irritated or glad about that.

Saturday we hung around the house all morning and watched High School Musical again – we even got Alan hooked on those songs now. hehe We also watched SKY HIGH – another movie my 2 year old can quote. I’m so glad we can enrich and broaden other peoples lives like that. 😉 After lunch we drove up to Buena Vista so Alan could get some great pictures of the Collegiate Peaks. Remember, Mt. Princeton is my favorite…I had to share it. We also went to Cascade Falls and stopped alongside the road to feed some deer on the way back down the mountain. There was a herd of bighorn sheep there too, though they ignored us. I stopped the van on the road to take some pictures because the deer were only about 10 feet away from us, and one gutsy fellow sauntered over to say hello. (Do deer saunter?) He got about a foot away from my window and I decided to roll it up – I’ve seen America’s Funniest Home Videos “When Animals Attack”. Would you believe he pressed his nose up against the glass and stared me right in the eye? I couldn’t believe it…Most deer run away…Their momma’s have told them about Bambi’s dad. Alan was quick with his camera, so I’ll have physical proof once we upload the pics to the computer. We had a few apples with us, so we broke them into pieces and threw them off the road so the deer wouldn’t stay there and get run over. They LOVED the apples…hey when you’ve been eating brown grass all day, an apple is a feast. Maybe we weren’t the first ones to do that, and that’s why the one was so brave. I’ll post pics in a few days.

I’ve been printing off my blog and keeping the posts in a big binder for future reference. Well, I knew I was going to see Linda – I never go to Buena Vista without that happening – so I took the binder to her…all 190 posts, and told her to enjoy some light reading. Not only does she not have internet, she doesn’t have a computer! How does she function? 😉 It’s amazing what some people (like me) consider a necessity these days. It’s sort of like feeling naked wihout my cell phone in my pocket. Sad, but true.

I pick my friend “Tammy” up for church every Sunday. Today she called to see if I had room so she could bring a friend. It was another woman from the shelter, and I was glad she came too. After church we all went back to my house for soup and cornbread. We sat down at the table and Petey looked at “Lisa” and said, “What’s your name Freshmen?” Max, Zoe and I started laughing. That’s a line from SKY HIGH. That kid cracks me up! He also dances around the house holding his basketball singing, “fake right, break left”, and “Getcha head in the game” from HSM. Never a dull moment in the Nowell hacienda.

Benny got home this afternoon from the Wild At Heart Boot Camp. He said it was really cool to go through it a 2nd time. He and Matt took 3 of the (former) streetkids: Don, Bob, and Cheeto. I am glad he got to go again, and I’m hoping/planning on going to the Captivating retreat in the Fall. I’m REALLY glad that this was the last of him being gone 3 weekends in a row. John Eldredge and the Ransomed Heart team have a whole bunch of new stuff coming out this and next year. We’re looking forward to it! Benny said he enjoyed talking with John this weekend, but it was funny to see everyone lining up at the end to talk with “John Eldredge – the celebrity”. I can’t make fun them, I’d be in awe too I guess. That’s how I felt talking face to face with McNair, Robert Jordan (a former favorite author), Ken Davis, Liz Curtis Higgs, Nicole C. Mullens, FFH, Geoff Moore, Mike Yaconelli, and a few other “famous” people that I’ve met and/or talked with. Nice name dropping, huh? hahaha

Tomorrow it’s back to the schedule…sort of. Dr. Zack in the morning, the gym, school, and hanging out with Alan before he leaves around supper time. Then I think we’ll have a family wrestling match and some cuddle time – we’ve all missed the Popa!!!

Alan is here this week. He was a kid in our youth group in Indiana, and now he’s a friend. It’s strange, but nice how that happens. The transition from the youth minister/teen relationship to adult friends relationship makes me feel old. 🙂 He was the first teen to make himself at home with us at our house. He’d just show up at our door with a movie and a pizza and say, “I thought maybe we could hang out for awhile”. He’d get his own dishes out of the cupboards and stuff from the fridge without me “waiting” on him. Benny and Alan would wrestle around and punch each other like boys do. Alan was one of the few people with the talent to make Benny belly laugh – hard laughing to the point of a red face and tears in his eyes. When Max was born, it was like Alan was the proud big brother. He was also the first teen to hold Zoe when she was born. Both our boy’s middle names are Allen – a family name – though Alan told everyone they were named after him and we just spelled it wrong. He was there during our loving on Diana days, and Diana adored him. She even let him drive her little red sports car! I think I was the only other person to ever drive it! We moved to Wichita the day before Alan’s 18th birthday, and he cried. (So did we). He’s been a part of our family for over six years, and we’re so happy to have him here. He now works for FedEx and goes to school part time. I love teasing him about his job, telling him I don’t trust FedEx – I saw Castaway! LOL I feel like his older sister, and we have a great friendship. Alan leaves on Monday night, and more friends are arriving on Thursday.

Adam and Luke are coming to CO to spend a few days with us. We’re excited to take them to Shakespeares for pool night with the streetkids. We’re also going to a Colorado Rockies baseball game. It’s nice having connections-our friend Julie was able to get us tickets for $4.00 each. She said the seats are pretty good too – on the 1st or 3rd baseline (don’t know which yet) in foul ball territory in the first section. It should be fun! They’ll also be here for Easter Sunday, so I guess I’m cooking this year. 😉

I’ve plugged Adam and his blog many times before. He’s one of my favorite youth ministry friends in the world and I’m proud to call him friend. We also know his sister Anna from Camp Zenith. I’ve never met Luke, but Angi has, and says he’s just as amazing as Adam. (Are you blushing yet guys?) They’re both intelligent, funny, goofy, Godly men. Now we just have to meet Bethany and we’ll know all four Copeland kids -I mean adults. 😉 I actually wrote their mom a note telling her what an awesome job she and her husband did raising four children like that. They definitely instilled in their children the values we’re trying to instill in ours.

I’m planning a phone marathon with Texas Jennifer for tomorrow. I miss her so much and wish they hadn’t moved!

Who am I that I was blessed with so many good friends?

The DVD released today! Buy it! Sometimes Disney really gets it right! As is usually my advice, read the books, they’re incredible!

I hope you’ve already visited McNair’s site and blog. I was honored that he emailed me and left me a comment because I chose him as a role model a few years back. I have had the privilege of meeting and knowing many who have helped me re-think and re-shape my theology, my self-image, and my faith. I thank God for putting these people in my life. I think I’ve blogged about a few of them…Linda Foreman (My best mentor/friend), Mike Yaconelli (I miss him, but he’s having lunch with Jesus today), Patrick Mead (Scottish Preacher/Speaker extraordinaire), Mike Cope (haven’t met him yet, but love his writing heart), Mardel Allen (The best high school teacher that ever lived), and McNair Wilson (Creative genius who likes to share). These people touched me in a special way at just the right time – it had to be a God thing. I am thankful for everyone who has helped me be me, and has loved me as me. In turn, I want to help those I meet and know be themselves and love them as they are and who they are becoming. It is one of the reasons I exist. Who has been that person in your life?

In further honor of McNair, I wanted to give you a taste of his wit and humor from one of his books, Everyone Wants to Go to Heaven But…

“If the only way that people know about your faith is by what you tell them, maybe only your lips are religious…Just watching the way a follower of Christ treats people can be a lesson about God. It really is true that Truth is often more powerful when it is caught than when it is taught. A good sermon should be seen and not heard.” p. 150-151

“:Verse. Where the words live. It is their address – chapter and verse. It is a way of finding your favorite sets of words. A way, too, of separating your most favorite set of words from the words around them that might tell you what they’re really about.” p. 175

“Most people think that there were only three wisemen. There were actually 14 wisemen, also atleast 87 to 173 servants, cooks, camels, and camel wranglers, probably. We just say there were only three so they will fit neatly on our coffee tables and mantels at Christmas.” p. 179

“Doubt. IT’S NOT THE ENEMY OF FAITH. Doubt is the honest, rigorous inquiry after truth. the enemy of faith is not caring.” p. 30

“Evangelism. IT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU DO; it is something you are. It’s something you feel, not something you hear. It is what true believers do, all he time, by just living their lives every day-except when they are napping or in a coma. Evangelism is not noisy, but it is very loud.” p. 35

“Laughter. I AM CONVINCED that there will be lots of laughter in Heaven. Start practicing now so you won’t feel left out.” p. 95

One of my favorite parts of the book? The pages in the back dedicated for notes and doodles. Inspiration sparks something within me and demands a response, so thanks for thinking of that McNair. I’m the type that needed permission to write in books. I can’t believe I haven’t read the other ones yet…

It is gorgeous outside today! The temp is in the 50’s, and though the wind is blowing pretty fiercely, I’m enjoying the sunshine. It was a great morning worshipping with my church family, and Michael had asked me to do a reading with my friend Shay. I am so thankful for the opportunity to praise God in this way that was foreign to me just a few short years ago.

Benny is back from the Dry Bones retreat and happily napping with Zoe. The boys are sleeping in their rooms and I’m enjoying a little quiet time. I’m excited to talk with him later about all that was said and done this weekend, especially in regards to our plan for next Fall. I’m not worrying, really, but I am very curious to see how everything is going to unfold. We (the Staff and Board of Directors) are prayerfully seeking God’s leading. I know my heart’s desire, and God knows my heart’s desire, so I’m waiting to get a sense of what God’s heart’s desire is for our family. I would welcome everyone to join us in these prayers!

My week of nostalgia has been strange, but good. Mr. Kartman, my Science teacher, emailed me back. I was thrilled! When I told Benny that he said he remembered me being a quiet kid, Benny laughed and said he must have been remembering someone else. 😉 I told Mr. K that you never know how you are impacting a life – especially when you have hundreds of teens stream through your classroom every year. I hope I made his day with my email. It was just in time – he’s retiring this year. I can’t believe he’s been teaching for 30 years. I also emailed my friend Ryan, one of the two mentioned in the last post. I haven’t heard back from him, but I wasn’t at all surprised to find out he’s a Music & Involvement Minister in Albuquerque, NM. He was one of the few “Christian” guys that I knew at my high school, I’m sure there were probably more, but few acted like it.

Benny’s comment about Mr. K’s comment got me thinking. I’ve never considered myself a quiet person, but I guess I was in classes. I lacked the self-confidence to raise my hand very often in fear of bringing negative attention my way. That, and a fear of what a certain mystery boy would think about whatever came out of my mouth. I had embarrassed myself in front of him plenty of times since the 6th grade, and couldn’t stand the thought of it happening again.

I met mystery boy on the first day of 6th grade. We were all hearded into the school library for a welcome to middle school orientation. I had just moved back to LaCrosse so I didn’t know anyone at this new school. I picked a table and sat down, then he walked in. He sat at the table next to mine and a crush was born. I knew there was a God that day (sarcasm) because there was more than one of him – he’s an identical twin. I would quickly learn how different a set of twins could be as I fell for one and was treated badly by the other. I thought it was just junior high boy antics, but the evil twin (as I affectionately called him) made it clear he didn’t like me all the way up through high school. Lovely. Mystery boy never gave me special attention, but he was never mean to me even when his brother was, so that won him points. Boy would I like to know whatever happened to him! I can’t imagine he’s a “Chris Grandy”. LOL

What’s the point? I wasted all that time not speaking because I feared the thoughts of a boy who didn’t like me and probably didn’t care what I thought in the first place. You’ve done that too, haven’t you? You’ve cared more about what a person thought about you than what God thought about you. It’s a trap I think we’ve all fallen into. Why does it take some of us longer to find our voice than it takes others? Why does it take so much convincing that we have something to say and we have the right, privilege, and sometimes the responsibility to say it? Why can’t it just be enough that God gave us something to say, and the courage to say it comes from Him as well?

This is relevant in the blogging world too. I had a certain idea of what my blog would be about and what would be discussed here. Then I started hearing and reading about blogging etiquette (which I evidently lack), and felt the pull of other people’s styles of writing. It was like a whisper on the wind…conform…your posts are too long…you use “…” to freely…conform…never name names…be politically correct…conform…blah blah blah. I hate to say it, but the struggle to be yourself and not be everyone else does not end with high school, college, or even marriage. I’m convinced it’s a life long struggle. So I continue to come to God and ask Him who I am and what He’s giving me to say, then I ask for courage to say it. Sometimes it’s just me having to ask Him for forgiveness because I’ve said the wrong thing, or spoken for Him when I shouldn’t have. I’m working at being me, and saying what I need to say. That may or may not be relevant to your life, but I need to get it out – which is why I blog. McNair Wilson once said “If you don’t do you, then you doesn’t get done…and Creation is incomplete”. Wise words from one of the most creative and inspiring people I’ve ever met! If you’re only going to visit one website this week (other than mine ofcourse :)) let it be his blog!

So my blogging friend, the next time you start to apologize for such a long post, a boring post, a silly or extremely serious post, whatever…think about this. If you have something to say, say it. Be real. Be kind. Be yourself – long, boring, silly, or serious. Be you – nobody else can or will be.