Sometimes I Write

In honor of this special occasion, I thought I’d share 200 things about myself…just kidding. I thought I’d share a thing of beauty.

I’ve drawn and painted hundreds of daisies in my lifetime, and still I never tire of them. They are not my favorite flower, but they are close. I’m drawn to the wildness of them, and the vast array of colors they come in. I love the way the petals spike up and out of the stem before gently bending toward the earth. There’s also the age-old game of “He loves me…He loves me not…He loves me…” I love flowers and I’m drawn to their beauty. I wonder if God had Eve in mind when he created them. I wonder if he had me in mind. I used to have a quote on my fridge that said, “I’d rather have fresh flowers on my table than diamonds around my neck.” I wish I could remember who said that and give them proper credit and a round of applause for speaking my heart for me. This is a Gerbera Daisy:

I blogged once about Benny telling me in college that I wasn’t “a rose kind of girl”. I was so hurt by that comment, but he turned out to be right. As beautiful as roses are…they are tame and orderly…almost sedate. They smell incredible and they are lovely to look at, but they have a sting to them with their thorns. They are relaxing and tranquil, and I would love to be sipping tea and drinking their aroma in an English Rose garden somewhere. But my heart is more like a wildflower…daisies and their sisters. They grow in unpredictable places and look lovely when mixed in with other varieties of flowers…It makes them all the more beautiful. They are carefree and love to join in the chorus of color as they sway in the breeze…to their own beat. They bring comfort and peace to those who receive them. Oh, and just in case you are wondering, my very favorite is the Alstromeria, also known as Peruvian Lilies. They too look good mixed in with other varieties. They are a hardy flower, lasting weeks in a pretty vase of water. They also bloom in July – my birth month. I like the pink and white ones the best, but couldn’t find a picture of them to share with you, so these are Alstromerias of a peachy/pink variety:

This is all part of who I am…a colorful creation of God…trying to bring comfort and peace to those who will receive me…dancing to my own beat…a hardy bloom…growing in unpredictable places…most lovely when mixed in with a variety of others…A Thing of Beauty.

Many of you will know the significance of today’s date. It’s the anniversary of the Columbine High School shootings here in Denver (Littleton). It’s the anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing. It’s the anniversary of a lot of bad things…Including Hitler’s birthday. It’s also the anniversary of a little tradition near the Colorado Capitol Building known as 4/20. This afternoon hundreds of people will meet near there and at 4:20 p.m. they will all light up and smoke pot in celebration of…I have no idea…Life sucking…Glorifying angry acts of violence…Who knows? The authorities will turn a blind eye to it. Being new to Denver, this week was the first I had heard of this little tradition. We prayed about it at our staff meeting on Tuesday – specifically for our streetkids. Today is also Thursday – our weekly pool hall night. It will be interesting to see how/if that is affected by the marijuana smoke out. Last year Denver voters made history when they made it legal to possess less than 1 ounce of marijuana if you’re atleast 21. However, the mayor said it is still state law that people can not be in possession of it or they will be fined. I don’t get it. Do they? Anyway, please be praying for Dry Bones today as well as the families who have lost loved ones on this sober anniversary.

Matt and Nikki started a Dry Bones blog back in the Fall to share stories of the kids we meet and love. That won’t keep me from posting my views about happenings in the ministry here, but I’ll be referring you over there when there are new posts. When we are blogging, as well as in our newsletters, we often change the real names of the streetkids to protect them or us. It’s only when we have permission to use their real names that we do so. I’ve been telling you about “Tammy” for some time now. Since Matt used her real name on the DBblog, I can now tell you her name is Tonya, and she’s doing great. She and Benny have an appointment with an admissions counselor at CCU tomorrow. She’s still looking for a job, but she’s thinking about taking some college classes as well. Keep praying for our new sister-in-Christ as she continues on the path away from life on the streets. This picture was taken Sunday morning at Sox’s Place. This is Nikki (on the left) and Tonya:

I know you’re all wondering…How did it go? It was great! I picked up Bob – one of our volunteers, and we headed to Sox’s Place downtown. I was greeted by my fellow DB staff members that were already there, and Tammy who smiled from ear to ear. I chatted with a few other people I knew there, and we all gathered around a big silver feeding trough/tank. Doyle (Sox) welcomed everyone and spoke about Tammy and the other girl being baptized, Joy (a Sox’s place volunteer). There was also a little boy and girl there that were going to be dedicated to the Lord after the baptisms. While Doyle was speaking, the little boy kept playing in the water with his hands. And I loved this…Doyle reached down and patted him and kept on talking. There was no scolding, or looks shot at his mom to keep him out of the water. In my mind, that’s what would have happened at some of the churches I’ve been to. We treat the baptistry like it’s filled with Holy Water. It’s just water…there’s NOTHING magical or special about it. It’s what takes place in it that is magical and special. Joy was first, then Tammy, who had a few words to say. She told everyone that she was ready to live her life for Christ because He’s the ONLY one who has been there for her EVERYTIME she needed him. He was the ONLY one she knew she could depend on 100% of the time. Very true words indeed! I took before, during, and after pictures for her and I couldn’t stop smiling. I was energized and excited about this HUGE step for her! She was already a believer, but it was incredible to be a witness of her public faith confession and act of obedience. I love that girl! I’ll tell her Congratulations for you Patrick, and pass on the rest of your message as well. There was a cloud of witnesses rejoicing in heaven along with those of us rejoicing in a downtown warehouse turned “home away from the streets”. Special thanks to Doyle (Sox) for loving the streetkids and for being a witness in Tammy’s life. Glad he’s my brother in Christ!

Speaking of brothers…we had a great time this weekend with Adam and Luke. Without sounding too mushy gushy…I LOVE THESE GUYS! I can’t express in words how much Adam means to me – though you know I’ve tried. I love him as my brother, and as much as I love my real brothers. I’m so glad that he shared his brother with us! Luke is awesome. We all had such a good time. For Zoe it was love at first sight. She took one look at Luke and got all giggly! LOL I loved the way the guys played with our kids, and they laughed at the way WE play with our kids…sword fights, wrestling and smackdowns…you know – the usual. We had 4 days to play and the guys had the opportunity to “live Dry Bones” for awhile. They both told me they came away from it changed. Benny took them on a turf tour downtown, they went to pool night and the feeding afterward, attended a party for Don, our friend who is a former streetkid and who recently got a job, and spent part of Easter Sunday with Tammy and Bob, our friends Corey and Tricia, and our family. We also drove up to Rocky Mountain National Park on Saturday to play tourist. It was beautiful and COLD. The temp dropped to 32 degrees and it started snowing. We teased Adam and Luke because they had worn shorts. (Southerners! -insert eye rolling and a giggle here) Seriously, they said it wasn’t too bad. We took some pictures and climbed on big rocks, and ate a snack on the side of the road. It was one of many little adventures we experienced with the guys.

Back to Easter Sunday…
I was able to catch the tail end of Michael’s lesson after arriving late with my new sister in Christ. Even the little bit I heard really touched me. I’ll be getting the CD to hear the rest, and I know I’ll be blogging about it next week sometime.

I knew the first time I heard the stories about Mary and Martha that I was Martha. She has “Niki Nowell” written all over her – in both stories I’m going to mention. First of all, she was only trying to be a good hostess…to her great loss, she got so caught up in her chores and providing a feast that she missed out on the best thing of the day. Jesus told her Mary made the better choice. So as I was scurrying around my kitchen yesterday, I was able to remind myself to be a bit of BOTH sisters. It was MY house and MY responsibility to provide a good meal for my guests, but there was no way I was going to miss out on great fellowship with those people I love so dearly. I also made a mental note of what Jesus did not say to Martha – “Since you’re so busy worrying and scurrying in there, and not burning food is more important than listening to what I have to say in here, I’ve decided I love Mary the best. You just take yourself back in that kitchen and I’ll deal with you later”. Nope, instead of harshly rebuking her, he says, “My dear Martha”…ahhh a term of endearment – “you’re worried about the wrong things and I can’t make Mary worry about them too. She has made the right choice, and I won’t take that away”. What was poor Martha to do? She’s just been embarrassed (the real word is convicted) by the Lord and she’s knows He’s right…but there’s still a meal to prepare…and somebody has to prepare it…

I tried to cook what everyone liked, and we were all stuffed by the end. We just lazed around the livingroom and talked, read the newspaper, and enjoyed each other’s company. It was relaxing and comfortable – the way holidays (and Holy Days) are supposed to be…RESTful. I fought Satan all weekend, so I needed the rest…and the good company. He kept whispering to me about what a bad hostess I was, though I know that’s not true. I kept praying, and he finally left me alone. Benny was reassuring to me and I’m sure he prayed for me as well.

My brain never stops even when my mouth does, so while I was listening to everyone talk, I was thinking about and processing the word “Resurrection”. Someone had once told me that there was only one man who came back from the dead (he meant Jesus), and I gladly pointed out his error and gave him the other examples of people being resurrected in scripture – like the good little pharisee I was. Yesterday my mind was on Lazarus…probably because I already had Martha on the brain.

Mary and Martha sent word to Jesus that Lazarus was sick. They knew Jesus could heal him – they believed He would. When Jesus finally shows up, Lazarus has been in the tomb for 4 days. Someone tells Martha that Jesus is coming and she doesn’t hesitate…she goes to meet him (Does anyone else think it’s strange that Mary didn’t join her?) Unlike her sister, Martha meets Jesus toe to toe. Mary later falls to his feet, though she says basically the same thing to Jesus, “Where have you been? If you’d have come when we sent for you – my brother would still be alive”. She also says, “But even now I know God will give you anything you ask for”. Interesting…has she just told Jesus that she wants him to bring back Lazarus from the dead? Not long after, Jesus weeps – for Lazarus? I don’t think so. I think he wept for Martha and Mary…these two women he loved so much and who loved him. They had the kind of relationship that Martha could meet him face to face, look into his eyes and present her questions with irritation mixed with grief and frustration. She was not disrespectful, but she was REAL.

I refuse to think of Martha as the “bad” sister, or the one who was in the wrong. Mary and Martha were very different people. But Jesus loved them both. I don’t think he expected Martha to be Mary. They each had their roles to play in life. Martha was the one who spoke her mind. Mary was the one who was passionate and dramatic. (Remember she later pours perfume on Jesus’ feet and wipes them with her hair) Jesus loved both of these women, and I know He loves me…a woman a little more after Martha’s heart than Mary’s. A lot more than Lazarus was resurrected that day! Tammy was not the only thing resurrected yesterday. I said in my last post that yesterday – Easter – was about new beginnings. It sure was! We celebrated new friends, new hopes and dreams, and new courage to be REAL! All of it was possible because of an empty tomb.

Thank you God for resurrection – may we all experience it through YOU every day! Love, Martha…I mean Niki.

Lastnight there was a bit of drama at the feeding after pool night. A couple of streetkids threw some slaps and shoves, and my friend “Tammy” lost it. She was incredibly upset by the disrespect shown the people providing the meal and the Dry Bones staff. (We don’t allow fighting at our functions.) She was so mad, she just exploded and threw her plate of food to the ground and walked off crying. I followed her and listened as she cussed and cried and yelled so everyone within earshot could hear her. I tried to calm her down and we talked. Her reaction (getting upset) was valid, I didn’t think the tantrum was necessary. She hates certain aspects of streetlife – the anger, the disrespect and disregard for others by some of the kids, and the ignorance of the vicious cycle most of them live in. When it was my turn, I reminded her of the goals we had set and the ones she had achieved already. I told her that she didn’t have to live like that. I said that I wasn’t excusing the behavior of the fighting kids, but that maybe no one had taught them that there are other ways to settle their differences. Maybe they truly didn’t know any better. She listened and cried. I spoke to her about her worth and how she had already overcome part of that lifestyle…She could do it. She didn’t need to live on the streets again, and maybe it was time to set some more goals and I’d help her work on them. She calmed down and we talked with Benny as we were leaving the park. He told her maybe she needed to stay away on Thursday nights for awhile, and make some new friends. She said no because she’d be bored, what else would she have to do on Thursday nights? I was so frustrated! Even when she could see that being there wasn’t the best thing for her at this point in her journey, she wasn’t willing to give it up. She knows what she needs to do to stay off the streets, and I’m not sure she’s willing to do it. She has made great progress by checking into a shelter/program, getting her CNA license and her GED. The next step is finding a job, and I’m afraid she’s begun to drag her feet. I want to be encouraging, but there are times I want to give her a shove (not a gentle nudge) in the right direction. I talked with Nikki about it a little and she reminded me that Tammy has to make the changes in her head and heart – I can’t do that for her. It has to be her own. I need to keep myself from being goal-oriented with her and let her go at her own pace. I am her cheerleader. I know there are others, but she loves and trusts me and calls me “Momma Bear”.

Unfortunately there were consequences to her actions. She had thrown her plate to the ground, and while we were talking, the people who provided the meal packed up and left. The irony is while she was mad at the kids who scrapped, she herself didn’t control her emotions, and as a result, Tammy had to go without dinner.

On a better note…She has invited me to be a part of her baptism Sunday morning at Sox’s place, the local drop-in center she hangs out at. Easter morning…a new beginning…For her…For me…For us all. Pray for me and Tammy as we walk together down this path of new beginnings in her life. Pray for wisdom so I know when to speak and when to shut-up, and when to enforce boundaries. I thank God that He is using me in Tammy’s life.

After her baptism, she’ll be coming to church with me, then home to spend part of the day. There will be around 11 of us for Easter Dinner. It’s going to be fun!

My friend Brock is a youth minister in Texas. He and his lovely wife Sarah work with a great group of teens, and they are dedicated to walking alongside them through the toils and triumphs that is adolescence. Brock is teaching a class this summer at the high school camp we do together. He could use your input. Here’s a bit of his latest post on his blog. Help him out if you can.

“This summer at Camp Zenith, I am signed up to teach a class called God’s Blog. I’m excited about the chance to talk to a few hundred teenagers about their online identities, but I want to get some input from all of you about what kinds of topics need to be discussed. I have considered topics concerning online safety, and while they’ll probably get some attention in the form of a handout or something, I’d like to keep the thrust of the class focused on the idea that we are accountable for our words, even if they’re published on the internet under an “anonymous” name. I’d like to impress upon the students that we have an opportunity to let our words be God’s words on the internet, but that even when we don’t do that, our words have an effect on how the people that know us view the Lord that we claim to follow.

So, use the comments section and let me know what you think. If you were gonna teach a class of high schoolers about blogging as a Christian, where would you start?”