Sometimes I Write

During this season of Lent, we’re discussing the 7 phrases that Jesus spoke while he was on the cross. Today’s phrase was, “Woman, here is your son…”. I knew it would be difficult for me to get through this one without tears. And I didn’t. We talked about Mary and what kind of mother she was. The point was made that SOME Catholics have elevated her status to that of deity, and the harsh swing of the pendulum to the other side you find SOME protestants who will barely mention her name referring to her as the virgin mother, possibly fearing giving her too much status. I am somewhere in between these philosophies. She was so much more than just a virgin mother though I don’t think she was or is on equal plane with God.

So who was Mary? She was a girl who lovingly talked to her growing belly, promising her coming son that she would protect him from harm and love him through anything he could throw at her. She was a girl who was loved by a man that wanted her as a wife and who was patient enough to wait for sexual intimacy with her until after Jesus was born. (Matthew 2:25) Surely she yearned for him too. She was a girl who had to face her family and their questions about this unexpected pregnancy. She was a girl who faced the tremendous task of being the moral, physical, and spiritual compass for a boy who would one day save people from certain death in their sin. He was the guinea pig child – she had never been a mother before him. She taught him to share and have compassion and kissed his hurting body when he fell down and scraped his knees. She nursed him through sicknesses and disciplined him when he stumbled in his humanness. He was fully human while being fully God. I have to believe in that being fully human, he was a child like other children. Was there a girl that caught his eye, or did he always see everyone with equal love?

Did Mary ask him when he would make her a mother-in-law and a grandma? Or did she constantly remember who she had borne? Did she remember when he was twelve and she witnessed him sharing thoughts on deep issues with the religious teachers at the Temple? Scripture says she treasured up those things in her heart. We know she remembered at the wedding in Cana. It was Mary who requested Jesus turn the water to wine. She remembered again standing before him at the cross, watching him suffer in agony. As she stood there weeping, did she remember Simeon holding Jesus as a baby and prophesying that he would be rejected by many in Israel and that it would be their undoing. But he would be the greatest joy to many others. Here’s the verse that released my tears. Luke 2: 35, “Thus, the deepest thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your very soul.” That had to be pretty close to how she felt watching her first-born son die. I cry along with my boys when they pinch fingers in doors and bleed from falling on the concrete. Maybe my tears don’t leave my eyes, but they are there. Could I withstand a sword piercing my very soul? Even if God had given her some special insight and told her exactly what the coming days would hold…how could she not feel like she herself was dying on that cross?

Gabriel had told her she would give birth to a king…”And the Lord God will give him the throne of his ancestor David. And he will reign over Israel forever; his Kingdom will never end!” (Luke 1:32-33) Surely it looked like Simeon was to be believed, but where was Gabriel and the other angels? When was God going to end this mess and get her son down off that cross? The thoughts that must have raced through poor Mary’s head! Oh friends, there is so much more to Mary than just being a virgin mother.

Happy St. Patty’s Day to all ‘o my fellow Irishmen/Irishwomen. I’d have a beer in your honor, but the stuff tastes like crap. I’ll eat some Lucky Charms and think of you – how’s that? We wanted to take our kids to the parade this morning and realized they had it last weekend. If we would read the newspaper once in awhile we would’ve known that. Benny gave me a hard time because we subscribe to the Sunday paper and sometimes it is still sitting (in the bag) on the coffee table on Thursday night. He asked why we bother at all and I said, “for the coupons and the comics”.

Jhart asked me once if I read fiction, or maybe it was why don’t I read fiction. The comment must have come from the numerous books on my shelves that are how-to in nature. You know, How to become a better Wife, Mother, Friend, Christian, Lover, Cook, etc. I responded with, “Girl, you see my life. Do you see me have enough time to read anything at all, let alone something that is not “helpful” to my present circumstances?” I may have scared her a bit – she has one adorable baby that still sleeps, so she has time to read. (I know you’re laughing reading that J:)) But the truth is, I get lost. I haven’t made time for fiction in my life since I had my first child almost seven years ago. Oh, I’ve read a few fiction books here and there, but I could count them on one hand. I recently made up for it. I have read 4 books in the past two weeks. The one I keep mentioning, and the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants trilogy – which I loved. (Again, don’t see the movie – read the books!) I’m hoping for a 4th book, which has been discussed by the author.

Here’s what I mean by “I get lost”. Somehow I forget that age 13 was over 20 years ago and I can’t pull an all-nighter just because I don’t feel I have a good stopping point in a book. I could read 2-3 books a week in High School, and that was with a busy schedule of extra-curricular activities. I’m a fast reader and I love it. Books are one of the few things I loved as much as boys back then. But I can completely tune out the world when I get sucked into a good story. I don’t hear people calling my name, the phone ringing, nothing. That’s not so great with three small children around. So I waited until they went to bed for the night, and then I got so lost in my reading that I finished the book…at 1:20 a.m. Also not good when you have a toddler who is often crawling into your bed at 6:30 a.m. wanting “something drink – I hungry Mommy!”

I don’t understand people who hate reading. Benny doesn’t hate it, but he certainly doesn’t enjoy it. It’s more like a chore to him. I teased him and said he probably read Cliff’s Notes for everything in college and he said, “Nope. I’ve never read Cliff’s Notes…I rented the movies.” 😉 I just joined Borders Rewards this week and as a gift, received a 30% off coupon, so I’m going to buy Redeeming Love tomorrow instead of waiting for my turn at the library. If it’s as good as ya’ll say it is, I must have it for my own collection. I’ll hopefully be able to practice a little self-control and not stay up half the night two nights in a row like last week. Boy was that dumb!

My week is getting off to a slow start, but I’m optimistic that things will get better as time goes by. Pete has been sick and just not himself since I returned from my trip. We go see Dr. Brian again this afternoon. The weather here has changed SO much in the last week, that my sinuses are on strike and refusing to work like they’re supposed to. Today there is a battle going on behind my left eye making life a bit foggy. I popped a few Dayquil and I’m praying for fast results.

We have two college groups here this week on their Spring Break. One from Harding and one from ACU. They are here to assist the Dry Bones team with outreach and grunt work, and get a feel for this type of urban ministry. One of the guys from Harding, Jon Gehrich, was in our youth group in Indiana. I hope he enjoys his week with Benny and serving the homeless youth and our team. It’s a busy week for Benny, and my goal is to make his homecoming everyday comfortable and relaxing.

I went to my book club yesterday. What an awesome experience! I’ve never been a part of a book club before. We discussed Anita Diamant’s The Red Tent. I loved the book, but really struggled through some of it. It is based on the story of Jacob’s daughter, Dinah, pronounced Dee-nah. She is the only female child of his mentioned in the Bible. I constantly had to remind myself that this was a work of fiction. The author took the account of what we do know about Dinah in the Bible, and created a story around it told from a woman’s perspective. She brilliantly weaved me in and out of the local customs and practices of the day, and the relationships Dinah had with the people around her, especially her mothers. Dinah was the birth daughter of Leah, but Jacob’s other wives were her mothers in a sense too. I struggled with all of the sex going on, but there had to be a lot of it going on for Jacob to have all of those children! This book is a beautiful portrayal of a young girl soaking in her surroundings, being ushered into womanhood by four women who loved her and counted on her to carry on their stories. She endures much pleasure and heartache through her life, finding love, having it ripped from her, and eventually rediscovering it again. The raw emotions that this book invoked in me was shocking, yet such a comfort to me. Discussing it with my new friends helped me sort through some of the thoughts and feelings I experienced reading it. Reading this book made me proud and glad to be a woman. I told my friends that I was definitely born in the right time in history, but I was drawn into the way mother/daughter/sister relationships were back in Biblical times. It was definitely a community, which I think is so important to families even today. After much thought, I do recommend this book. I wasn’t so sure when I first began reading it.

Our next book club selection is Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. I have about five friends that have told me I just HAVE to read that book, so now is my chance. I just wish they all lived close enough to join my book club. They are a great group of ladies!

Well, here it is…drumroll please…my big secret is…

I went to Minnesota and Wisconsin for the weekend.
O.k. – I know some of you are disappointed with the big revelation, but it was really great. I went to visit my brother Lennie and surprise my parents. The only people who knew I was coming were Lennie and my Stepmom, Shari. The look on my Dad’s face was priceless. There I was sitting in the livingroom with Shari when he arrived home. He looked at me, then her, then back at me. I hugged him and he said, “Is everything o.k. with the marriage?” I laughed and said yes and he told me a lot of times when kids come home unexpectedly it’s because something is wrong with their marriage. My first thought was that he’s thinking of one of my brothers and my sister, who have both done that with him several times. I would never say that out loud though, except here. We had a great meal at the Outback , then went home to watch videos of the kids and chat until bedtime. The visit was short, but very sweet! Shari sent me home with Easter candy and new clothes for the kids. She even bought Benny and I two shirts each. She’s so awesome in the little things like that.

The next morning I surprised my Mom and Stepdad at breakfast. Lennie had arranged to meet them at a restaurant, and my Dad dropped me off just as they were going in the door. The shocked look on my mom’s face was so funny. I hugged her and gave her the bouquet of white tulips I bought for her, and she just stood there smiling, but completely dumbfounded. I loved it. What is it about me loving to surprise other people, but hating to be surprised myself? My brother Mike came with my niece Ayla(7) and my nephew Scotty(10), and my uncle Randy was there too. We all had a great breakfast laughing and joking about life and watching the kids play with their gifts I had brought for them. After breakfast we went back to Uncle Randy’s house to see Aunt Sharon. She is currently recovering from her second kidney transplant and she’s doing pretty well. It was nice to visit with everyone, and I was able to show them video of the kids too.

Backtracking a bit, my trip was intended for visiting Lennie. Surprising my parents was a nice bonus. I put the teaser on my blog because my mom reads it regularly now. 🙂 I was hoping to torture her a bit, then she never even asked about the secret! Oh well.

I had a wonderful time with my brother! I arrived in Minneapolis a little after midnight last Thursday and my luggage (1 suitcase) arrived Friday afternoon! Please explain to me how that happens on a straight flight??? Two other women didn’t get theirs either, but they were both from connecting flights. I don’t get it. One of the ladies, clearly a business woman, asked the unfriendly soul behind the claims counter where she might find a place to get some clothes for her meeting the next morning. Unfriendly lady said, “There’s a WalMart open 24 hours nearby but I wouldn’t recommend buying clothes there”. I laughed to myself because I knew that was our next stop so I could buy pajamas and a toothbrush, and a few other incidentals I needed before my suitcase would arrive. When the suitcase did arrive, they called to see if someone would be home from 1-5 pm so they could deliver it. Like we wanted to spend the whole afternoon waiting for them – we drove back to the airport to pick it up. The kid didn’t even ask for my ID, I offered to him. hmmmmm

Lennie and I went to the Mall of America to shop and hang out for a few hours. I’ve been there so many times that it’s lost some of the excitement for me, but we had fun anyway. We both love to people watch, and there were some fun shops to check out. We watched a guy making sushi, and played a game in a shop that zaps the last person to push the button. Yeah – that was me. We had lunch at Johnny Rockets, looked at swords and knives (so I could brag to Benny), and we laughed our butts off at a t-shirt shop. I found the perfect t-shirt for Benny. It was red with the Heinz logo on it and read, ” I put ketchup on ketchup”. Like a teenager, Lennie kept trying to nudge me hard enough to run into people. Fun times at the MOA! That night we met some of his friends at Benihana for supper. What a great meal. I had shrimp and actually liked it for the first time ever. I liked his friends a lot and I could tell they really love and respect him. What else did we do? Watched Tommy Boy, shopped at the most expensive grocery store in the world, and practiced tearing decks of playing cards in half. I’m up to 40 cards – not bad for a girl! 😉 He can tear 70 cards. ( If you’d like to try this at home, The Dollar Store has two decks for a buck.) He also ripped a license plate in half and rolled a small frying pan up like a burrito. I got it all on tape for proof. Yep, that’s what he does for fun…my martial arts, funny, strong, creative, nutty, younger brother. I had a blast with him!

My flight home was delayed for three hours, so I bought a book. I needed some lighter reading after finishing Anita Diamant’s The Red Tent, so I bought and enjoyed reading Ann Brashares’ Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. I enjoyed it so much that I rented the movie when I got home. BIG MISTAKE. If you’ve read the book, don’t bother seeing the movie – they changed so many key points about the characters I was disappointed. I’m sure those of you who just watched the movie enjoyed it just fine, but I’m a reader and I’ve yet to like the movie better than the book. The ONLY ones that have come close, but still didn’t win me over to the movie side, were the LOTR trilogy and The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. The books were better, but the movies were really good too. I must admit that I have yet to read Jane Austen’s Sense and Sensibility because it is my all-time favorite movie and I don’t want to ruin it. I’m really ridiculous like that sometimes. Love me anyway.

Congratulations! You’ve reached the end of a very long post. I had to catch you up, and I’m taking a blogging break until next weekend so I can catch up on Mt. Washmore and Mt. Dishmore, BSF, and getting us all on a routine. Benny did a great job while I was gone, but it’s amazing how much I’m needed around here! 😉 Job security – hehehe! 🙂 Bless you friend!

Tune in to the History Channel on Tuesday, February 28, at 7 PM (CST) and watch “Risk Takers, History Makers”, a documentary featuring YC History professor, Tim McNeese!

Here’s a description of the program from the History Channel website:

A modern-day team of adventurers tackles one of America’s most unforgiving landscapes to trace, experience, and recount the journey of one-armed explorer John Wesley Powell. At the end of the 19th Century Powell led an expedition into the last unknown territory in the Continental United States: the Grand Canyon. Over the course of the three-month journey the men would face starvation, dizzying cliffs, terrifying rapids, and even death. But Powell was determined the mission succeed, and by summer’s end, he and his crew floated out of the Grand Canyon and into the history books. Now our team is heading back into this brutal oasis to discover how Powell tamed the southwest. Chris Warner and Greg Davenport are teaming up with historian Tim McNeese to swim deadly rock-infested rapids, and scale cliffs as tall as skyscrapers. If the trio hopes to better understand Powell’s enormous accomplishment, they’ll have to rely on each other’s individual skills to survive.

Mr. McNeese was one of my professors at York College in the early 90’s. He was not only a great professor, but a really great guy as well. He took all of our wedding pictures for us for FREE as a gift to us poor college students. Even if I wasn’t a history buff (and I am), I would watch his documentary just to honor him and his work. Hope you check it out! You had no idea I was interested in history, did you? I love to keep you guessing! 🙂