Sometimes I Write

I am part of an amazing group of women. They are my discussion group of BSF friends. Every week I am uplifted and challenged by these women. We are from different church denominations across Wichita and we each bring something unique to the group. They aren’t all like me, and I like that. They aren’t all moms of preschoolers, minister’s wives, homeschoolers, long-time Christians with church baggage, or even under 35. We all come together with the one thing in common that matters…we love the Lord and have a desire to know Him more. Our leader, Dixie, keeps things running smoothly which is no easy job with a bunch of women who like to talk! Our discussions are lively and thought provoking, and I feel at home with these women I hardly know.

Today we had a fellowship. Once a month we bring a sack lunch and meet to eat and visit at one of the ladies homes. It is a bit structured, like BSF, but I like that too. We meet for one hour, but today I stayed a little later to visit with Kris. (We were at her home.) I find such comfort, acceptance, and prayer support from these ladies. I seem to soak it up like a dry sponge. Today they had encouragement for me as they keep tabs on our Dry Bones adventure. They also had advice and information for me about Pete’s allergy issues (next paragraph) and where to find the whole foods he can eat. This room full of my sisters in Christ was warm and friendly in a way that my church family is not. I don’t mean to slam the ladies at my church – there are a few there that try to care for my heart, but I haven’t found the connections that I had hoped to find there. I don’t know if it’s the isolation of ministers wives thing, or if I put off this vibe of self-sufficiency, or if they just don’t know how to have the kind of fellowship that I need. Anyway, we closed our lunch out in prayer and I felt the Holy Spirit there with us. Praise God for these wonderful women!

Pete, my 1 year old, has been diagnosed with severe food allergies. He is allergic to most of the things that we’ve been feeding him his whole life. I felt like such a bad mother for basically unknowingly poisoning my child for a year. He has eczema over 50% + of his body, and has been very congested since he was born. We are extremely fortunate that these are the ways his allergies manifested themselves in him. Food allergies can be deadly, thus the reason for my guilt and my incredible relief in finally learning the cause of these problems. After repeated visits to our pediatrician and a dermatologist to no avail, we tried a chiropractor and a more holistic approach. He’s been receiving adjustments for a month, and had a blood test done that tests the top 96 food allergens. Pete has 19 of them, some of them severely. Milk, nuts, wheat, rice, oats, soy, coconut, eggs, barley, gluten, sesame, safflower, sunflower, on and on…

Unfortunatley, I have a friend that has been very negative about this new approach we’re taking which is too bad…he’s been off of all of these foods for 4 days now and his face is no longer splotchy and red. He isn’t scratching as much, and he’s no longer congested. I’m talking about a baby that scratches enough to make himself bleed. I have felt helpless for so long, and I have secretly cried tears of relief into my pillow at my prayers finally being answered. I am concentrating on the things he CAN eat which is fruits, vegetables, and meats…no breads, crackers, soy, or dairy. Do you know how many things have gluten in them? Our whole family is moving towards this way of eating too. Maybe this is God’s way of helping me to lose weight too?! I did find vegetable chips at Dillons that he can have and they taste pretty good! Next stop…Whole Foods. (Laurie’s so proud of me) 🙂

Pete is on the road to recovery, and so is my heart thanks to my positive friends!

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Well, I’ve been posting comments on other peoples blogs about this topic, I guess I should have cut and pasted them into my own for a great post! HA

I love the Lord Of The Rings trilogy! The book was better than the movies, but I am completely impressed with Peter Jackson’s vision. I have always been a fan of SciFi/Fantasy literature. Benny and I started reading the Robert Jordan series, “The Wheel of Time” the year we got married. I’m irritated that 12 years later he has yet to tie up all of the loose ends and give us the last book. I stopped reading them about 5 years ago. I did the same thing with the Left Behind series. My impatience kept me from jumping on that bandwagon. Now that the last book is in stores I may make the time to read them. Back to LOTR…

I loved this story for so many reasons. Besides the ease of slipping in and out of the world Tolkien created, his story is saturated with TRUTH (with a capital T). The characters are lovable, despicable, heroic, and just like us. I could write for days and still not convey everything I picked out of the three movies and the book. I know from other bloggers that I am not alone. The fellowship embodies all of the qualities we all possess. I can see myself in all of them (and none are women!) There are so many great quotable lines! The attention to detail from the sets to the costumes is amazing! I was thrilled to see it sweep award shows for the last three years. If you haven’t seen these movies or read the book, do it! I was talking to a friend the other day who said she tried to watch the first movie but it was too hard to follow and she kept falling asleep! My bestfriend doesn’t get my fascination either. Am I a geek, or what? It’s o.k. if you think I am, I know I’m not alone. 🙂

Speaking of geeks…What is up with the Napoleon Dynamite craze? We had our teens over to watch it a few weeks ago. At the end I sighed and told Benny, “there goes another hour and a half of my life wasted!” Ofcourse I was alone in my opinion and he is still walking around the house saying, “GOSH!” constantly. Ugh! As peer pressure goes, I have caught myself quoting it a few times and have to GOSH myself!

We host SPAM (soda, popcorn, and movie) nights at our house about once a month for our teens. We’re currently planning the Feb. night. Does anyone out there have any ideas? It has to be PG-13 or under…and anything will be better than Napoleon Dynamite. The boys want to watch the “Bourne movies”. We’re still thinking about it.

I set out to blog about LOTR but my mind and typing fingers just wandered. I do that sometimes. I’ll share more later. I leave you with one of my favorite LOTR quotes:

“Hold your ground, hold your ground. Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down, but it is not this day. This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you *stand, Men of the West!* ”

-Aragorn in Return of the King

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Last Thursday we met Matt and Robbie for lunch. Ted’s Montana Grill has good food and every condiment known to man right there on the table waiting for you. Nikki squeezed in a few minutes with us between appointments. It was nice to sit and visit with them. We had a great conversation about whether or not there is a difference between buffalo and bison. 🙂

After lunch, M & R took us on a turf tour of the areas where the homeless teens sleep, hide to do drugs, and where they tend to hang out during warmer weather. I have to admit I was surprised to actually see syringes just laying on the ground and hidden in holes in the rocks and walls on the river walkway. Heroine use is really big in Denver. My heart hurt as we passed a spot on the river where across from us under a bridge we could see a temporary shelter and someone sleeping in a sleeping bag. I kept thinking about how cold it was out there! I wanted to rescue whoever it was. The irony is that the riverwalk is shadowed by newly built, multi-story condos. Business people run and walk down there during their lunch breaks. The mayor wants to eradicate the “homeless problem” in Denver. What he means is that he wants them to be invisible. Funny thing…they are…to those who aren’t looking for them.

We made our way to Hannah’s coffee shop and there we met a few of the street kids for a Bible study. Actually, of the 4 who were there, only 1 of them still lives on the streets. The other 3 have found their way off the streets and are doing pretty well and growing in their faith. They were friendly and didn’t seem to mind us joining them. Matt, Becca and Don taught me how to play rummy while we were waiting for the others to show up. We had a GREAT Bible study. We read and discussed a few chapters of the book of MARK. I gained a few new perspectives hearing the story being understood by someone who wasn’t fluent in Christianese. It’s harder for us to get our church teens to read out loud and participate in discussions than it was for them. Cheeto showed up in time for us to leave to go to Shakespeares, a local bar and pool hall. He remembered Benny from last summer. We’ve been praying for him since before his baptism back in October, and he seems to be doing well.

As we headed for the pool hall, our discussion resumed about Buffalo vs. Bison and we were informed by one of the guys that there is indeed a difference…free range rather than raised in a herd. I haven’t asked Jeeves yet, so I’ll accept that position for now. HaHa On the way we met up with a huge crowd of homeless teens/young adults and learned that one of the girls had her baby taken away that day. She was distraught and angry. Earlier we had learned that another girl had her 2 children removed from her a few days before. I was so confused as to what I should be feeling and thinking. As a mother, I was horrified at he thought of having someone take my children away from me. On the other hand, I hoped it would be incentive for these girls to find a place to live and do what it takes to get their children back and stay off the streets. Plus, it was freezing outside and I couldn’t imagine anyone being out there for long, let alone a baby or small child.

I really had a good time playing pool with the kids. (I keep saying kids, but their ages ranged from about 15 to 23) At one point while playing a game with Don, he put the cue stick behind his head, draped his arms over the ends, and said, “Hey Niki! Remind you of anyone?” I laughed then he kicked my butt in pool! Later he came and asked me to be his Spades partner. I was thrilled! I don’t think I’ve played since college, but I used to be pretty good! We sat down at an empty table and waited for our opponents. I asked who we were playing and he said, “Titties and Smiley”. I felt like he waited for my reaction, but I didn’t give one…or maybe I felt like he was waiting for a reaction because I was nervous about doing or saying the wrong thing. They showed up a few minutes later and we played until it was time to leave. Titties and Smiley were pretty nice though they mostly talked to each other and not to me. After the pool hall, we all walked down to a park. On Thursday nights, different families from supporting churches take turns serving a hot meal to the street kids. This week was chili, corn bread, and peaches. (Did I mention how cold it was?) I counted about 30 people there not including the family feeding everyone. We stood around and talked until it was too cold to stand still and everyone went their separate ways. The Goldman’s were gracious enough to take us in for the night and we stayed up late talking some more. I loved watching the Goldman children tease and play with each other. They are 16, 13, and 10, and it’s obvious they love each other and their parents. It made me wonder what our three will be like at that age.

The next day we met with the DB Denver team, spent some time with the Hartnagles and went to Colorado Springs. (More about our meeting later…) What a fast but full trip. I love this ministry. I wasn’t as uncomfortable as I think most people would be. Maybe it has something to do with how I grew up. Before you go thinking I was a street kid, let me tell you that I know how blessed I am to never have had to face a night alone on the street with nowhere to call home, no food to eat, and nowhere to belong. There were times I felt some of those things, but I still had options…That’s a whole different story. There is something about those teens I can relate to. I recognize it though I can’t name it. Hmmm…food for thought I guess.

Please continue to pray for our family and the direction we are headed in. God already knows his plans for us and we’re just watching and waiting and waiting and waiting…sorry. We know what we want to do and how we want to do it, but working out the details is a bit trickier. We need guidance and encouragement, and answers would be nice. Hopefully we’ll know something soon. God bless you all and thanks for continuing to read my thoughts as I journey on. I leave you today with more song lyrics.



Ginny Owens – If You Want Me To



The pathway is broken and the signs are unclear

and I don’t know the reason why you brought me here

but just because you love me the way that you do

I ‘m gonna walk through the valley if you want me to



‘Cause I’m not who I was when I took my first steps

and I’m clinging to the promise you’re not through with me yet

so if all of these trials bring me closer to you

then I will go through the fire if you want me to



It may not be the way I would’ve chosen

when you lead me through a world that’s not my home

but you never said it would be easy

you only said I’d never go alone



So when the whole world turns against me and I’m all by myself

and I can’t hear you answer my cries for help

I’ll remember the suffering your love put you through

and I will go through the valley if you want me to.

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I may have been born a flat-lander, but my heart lives in the Rocky Mountains! From the moment we drove over the Colorado border I swear I could breathe easier and my heart beat just a little faster. A few hours later when I caught sight of the foothills in the distance, I began to squirm in my seat with anticipation. I felt like I was coming home. As we drove down from Trout Creek Pass, the valley opened up and the mountains rose up tall in front of us. The lights from Johnson Village and Buena Vista glowed in the distance, but it was the stars that had me mesmerized. Even on a cloudy night like that, I could see them twinkling and sparkling everywhere! One of my favorite sights is the moon resting near Mt. Princeton, casting it’s glow onto the ridges and peaks of snow. How Breathtaking to see my mountain again. Yes, my mountain…My favorite mountain. Mark my words, if I’m still on this earth at retirement age, my address will be somewhere in that great state!

We got home yesterday with fewer questions than we left with, so I guess our trip was a success. We had a great day with Benny’s parents then left the kids with them for some “bonding time” while we went on to Denver. We spent a day and a half with our friends that make up the Dry Bones Denver team. We also had the opportunity to visit with our friends, the Hartnagles. I can’t possibly fit everything we experienced into one post, so I’ll split it up over the next few days. Let’s just say it was enlightening, disappointing, scary, fun, cold, life-changing, challenging, tiring, and hopeful.

After Denver we went to Colorado Springs to spend the night with friends there. It’s amazing how things have changed since we lived there 11 years ago. Kathi’s condo was just a grassy field back then. We had a great time catching up since we hadn’t seen our favorite sister duo since Max was a baby. Kathi and Janice were so welcoming and we just picked up where we had left off a few years ago. We spent the night and the next day enjoyed lunch and a movie with them. I finally saw “Spanglish”. I now understand why all of my blogging friends have been raving about it. I really liked it! Benny’s parents met us in the Springs to give us our kids back and we spent another night at casa de Page. I think I talked their ears off! (Janice, if you’re reading this – a special thank you for our late night convo after everyone else had sense enough to go to sleep!) We really enjoyed our visit with K, J, Marge, and the adorable Sophie the dog.

On a sad note:

*Mike Cope is a friend of a friend. His son Chris, age 12, was in a very serious car accident on Sunday while returning home from Winterfest – a big youth rally in Texas. His friend sitting next to him was killed and everyone else in the vehicle has serious injuries. For more info please check out his blog at www.mikecope.blogspot.com Please keep everyone involved in the accident and the whole Highland church family in your prayers as they deal with this tragedy. My heart goes out to them. Updates are being posted and the healing has begun. I encourage you to drop them a line of encouragement on Mike’s blog.

*Also, please pray for my blogging friend Ed and his family. Ed lost his mother suddenly last week and could use some encouragement and prayers. www.edharrell.blogspot.com

We’ve been home for a whole day now and I’m already exhausted. Back to our routines for awhile. I’m glad to be typing on my computer and sleeping in my own bed tonight! Buenos Noches!

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My family is off to Colorado as soon as we wake up in the morning. Here are my arrow prayers for this week.

God, you’re awesome for giving us this adventure.

Please give us safe travel to and from CO.

Thank you for the Edwards family and the many ways they bless us (like house sitting).

Lord, I’m nervous about the interviewing going on…Please calm me down.

Give me the faith I need to do what you want me to do.

Please heal my sinuses and throat.

Lord, thank you for the many friends I have and please bless their lives.

Be with Heather as she goes through her pregnancy.

Be with Jennifer as she learns how to be a mom of three boys.

Thank you for our computer and my wonderful in-laws who gifted us with it!

Watch over Angi and bring healing to her heart.

Thank you for Lennie and Laurie and the relationship you’ve helped us grow.

Pierce Mike’s heart and bring him to you. You’re the only one who can!

Thank you for Mike Cope and the many ways he challenges me to think. Let me meet him someday.

God, show me what to do and tell me what to say while we’re on the streets of Denver this week.

Please give strength and courage to the Wallaces, Goldmans, Hartnagles, Medders, and Perry.

Shut me up when you have to.

Lord, I offer you my life…Please make it worthy of the offering.

Give me the strength everyone seems to think I have.

Draw Adam even closer to you.

Thank you for my BSF lessons and the wonderful ladies in my discussion group.

Thank you for bringing Linda into my life…Show me how I can bless her like she blesses me.

Please give me rest.

I love You God!

Amen.

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