Sometimes I Write

I was unusually late. I’m always the first to arrive when we meet for our study. In my defense, I had to run to the store for a few items the group had forgotten. My expectations for our mini-retreat were high and I was not disappointed. I’ve had several friends ask me how it went, and all I could do was respond with a smile and a sigh and say, “All women should have a group like that!”

We arrived at Kristi’s parent’s house Saturday evening and chatted a bit before ordering in Chinese food. We ate and talked and laughed. There was a lot of catching up to do since we hadn’t met for two whole weeks! 😉 We shared our stories and our lives until 1:30 a.m. It was awesome. Paula and I slept on opposite ends of a comfortable sectional couch so we actually stayed up chatting even later by ourselves. Wouldn’t you?

Sunday morning Wendy and I made breakfast casserole and prepared fresh fruit while Abi and Kristi went for a run. (I’d rather cook which is why they are skinny and I am… not.) I think Paula was getting ready for the day – I can’t remember. After breakfast we all did our own thing for a bit and a neighbor stopped by to see why there were so many cars parked in front of Kristi’s parent’s house while they were supposed to be in Arizona. It was funny, yet very sweet of her to watch out for her friends like that.

We finished up our Captivating book and discussion and Wendy had a few treats planned for us. First she played a song for us that makes her think of our group. The song is “Suddenly I See” and was featured in the opening sequence of the movie, The Devil Wears Prada. Abi posted the lyrics and a bunch of pictures from the retreat on her blog, so go check it out. Keep in mind that we were at a retreat and not trying to look our best for the camera. 😉 Nice disclaimer huh? (I hate my pictures) THEN, Wendy brought out cute little origami baskets she had made for each of us (eat your heart out Martha!) filled with foot spa stuff. She gave the four of us pedicures! Abi posted a picture of Wendy working on my tattooed foot – the best picture of me on her post! haha We all shared our birth stories – something we decided all mothers have the need to do, discussed our favorite books and authors, and laid our heart’s burdens out before each other. We divulged secrets, and laughed until our sides hurt. We began our group just six short months ago, but I can honestly say these women are counted among my closest friends – as you could probably tell since I post about them so much. I marvel at the fact that we are so different yet love each other so deeply. We are for each other, and for coming to God together with and for each other. We ended our retreat surrounding Wendy in prayer.

I commented to Abi that when we moved here I had asked God to give me friends I could be “REAL” with and He blessed me more abundantly than I could have imagined or hoped for…He gave me these women – Paula, Wendy, Kristi, and Abi. Suddenly I see…this is what I wanna be!

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O. K. Let’s see…

The Plunder the Darkness retreat was awesome. It was the first time Benny and I spoke together using a tag team approach. That alone can stretch some people – the ones who think women can’t or shouldn’t teach. (baloney.) Our message was strong and it was well received. I’d still like to post about the lessons, which I may do sometime, but right now we’re refining it and asking the Lord to provide more opportunities to share it with youth groups across the country.

My Aunt Sharon had a mastectomy last week. The surgery went well and I ask that you pray for her as she recovers and begins her treatments to kill the cancer in the breast she still has. She also became a grandma for the first time yesterday. She’s had quite a week!

Our preacher friend Bob Herndon was recently diagnosed with cancer in his esophagus. The course of treatment is yet to be determined. Pray for him too.

My friend Shay, whom I sing with at The Journey, has been battling cancer on and off since she was 19. She’s now 23. She has a fighting spirit, but lately has been feeling low. She could use your prayers as well as she struggles to make sense of life.

That’s three people that I love that are suffering from, but surviving, some form of cancer. Wow. Every Sunday night my family sits down together to watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition – the very best show on Television. Last week’s episode was about a woman who became a sort of activist for breast cancer awareness after her mom was diagnosed, treated, and survived. Then when she was 26, she herself was diagnosed and went through treatments. Ofcourse the bills piled up and their house suffered neglect so they could afford the things that were more important like food and the medicines she needed. Like every other week, ABC bulldozed their house and built a bigger, more beautiful one in it’s place. It was touching like it always is, but it was even more special for us because she lives in St. Meinrad, Indiana. Benny and I both took spiritual retreats at the Benedictine Monastery there, and it was introduced to us by our friend Bob, mentioned above. There were several shots of the monastery in the background and it made us long for time there again. It also was cool to think of Bob and be thankful for his encouragement to spend time there alone at their retreat center and chapel. Bob has been such an encouragement to us and challenged us to grow in our faith. He’s quite a guy.

I’m sorry I wasted so much time being angry last week. Something great had happened at the retreat, so I should have expected the opposition from the enemy. I just think it hurts more when he uses people we care about to bring us down. He’s such a jerk! If I would have looked a little harder, I would have seen that God was blessing our socks off with other people encouraging us through the trials. I don’t doubt that I am loved, that I’m on the right path, and that I’ve come a long way in my healing from the abuses I’ve endured by churches in my past. This weekend I did some more work to uproot the seeds of bitterness trying to take root in my heart.

My CAPTIVATING FRIENDS and I gathered for a 24 hour retreat from Saturday night to Sunday night. It was a time of great healing and bonding and the lifting up of all of our spirits. More on that next time…

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“Knowing you, we are sure that you will be sharing the Gospel as the opportunities are made available. But the main focus of your work does not appear to be sharing the Good News.”

There you have it…part of the cause of my anger this week. One of our supporters sent us an email to let us know they would not be supporting us in 2007. They had three reasons…this being the third. They have supported us all year…they have known us since before we were married, so we’re not strangers….they have never visited us to experience our work firsthand. This was an unfair assessment and lacked the facts about what we do, what we’re about, and definitely who we are. I’m not even going to mention the first two reasons but trust me when I say I disagree with those reasons as well. This one put me over the edge. I was angry! As Michael would say, “Anger is always a secondary emotion”. (Don’t tell him I’m quoting him – it will only go to his head!;)) The primary emotion was pain…I was hurt. A song I learned as a child popped into my head, “Angry words, oh let them never from the tongue unbridled slip…” So I took a little break from this for a few days.

So what does that mean? If sharing the Good News (and I thought that WAS the Gospel) isn’t the main focus of our work, then what is? EVERYTHING we do leads to that focus. The kids we work with aren’t open to hearing the gospel without first having a relationship with us. Does this mean this supporter thinks we should be standing on the street corner with our huge Bible under our arm, yelling at the kids about how lost they are and they need to come to Jesus? I’d like to give THAT little talk in a few churches I know. ~deep breath Niki~

I have to say that I’m very proud of Benny and his response to the email. He was polite and his wording was awesome. He got our responses to each of the reasons laid out as well as inviting them to reconsider their decision. In regards to this “reason”, he reminded them that a lot of the kids we know on the streets RUN from Christianity. In many cases there has been some sort of abuse (physical and/or sexual) in their lives by family members or friends who were “Christians”. Without building trust through a relationship with them, there is no chance of them listening to anything about Jesus. At the same time, they know from the start that we are ministers. This is not covert Christianity friends…it’s meeting them where they are, loving them through their circumstances, and through that relationship inviting them into a relationship with Jesus Christ. Our end goal isn’t to get homeless people off the streets…our end goal is to introduce them to Jesus and give them HOPE for the future. There is such a thing as a homeless Christian…I know some. Sharing the Gospel with someone who has been abused by Christians doesn’t look the same as sharing it with your neighbor who has been thinking about getting back into church after a hiatus from it since childhood. You have to have two different plans for those situations. Paul put it well when he spoke about being all things to all people so that some may be won to Christ. There’s more, but I’ll stop now.

I blogged that I was too angry to blog on Monday. On Tuesday we were blessed with a letter from another one of our supporters. This supporter thanked us for being who we are and doing what we do. They said they are pumped about our new ministry plans and they look forward to visiting us to experience it for themselves. It was so needed and much appreciated. God is awesome to work HIS way in HIS timing to bless HIS children. YEAH GOD!

And speaking of our new ministry plans…check out our new website at www.sevensonline.org I’ll blog more about that soon, but the scoop is on the website.

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How is it possible that I can be so incredibly uplifted and so harshly insulted all in the same day??? Life is definitely NOT FAIR!!!

We had a FANTASTIC weekend which I’ll tell you all about tomorrow because I’m exhausted! The truth is that I’m too angry to blog tonight. I don’t want to let someone else’s ignorance cause me to spew lava all over my space on the web. Pray that God will calm my heart and keep a tight leash on my roving tongue! Angry doesn’t even begin to describe my feelings right now.

The good news is that I’m loved by a God who knows how to be angry, understands my anger – because in this case it is truly a righteous one, and will love me through this. Another amazing thing is that when the insult came, my very first thought was to cry out to God about the injustice BEFORE crying out to you, my friends. Ahhhh growth…Also thanks to God! 😉

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I’m writing to you tonight from our hotel room in Oklahoma City. Benny and I are here (actually heading to Lawton, OK in the morning) to speak at a youth retreat for the weekend. Our theme is “Plunder the Darkness”. I have a few posts in the works about that theme, but I’ve been saving them until after the retreat. Please pray for all who will hear the message we have been given to share. Over ten years ago I asked God to make this happen. I dreamed and prayed that someday God would use Benny and I as a speaking team for His glory. This is the first time we’ve done this together outside of the youth groups we’ve worked with. I’m pumped!

Our flight here was fun. Not really…I get motion sickness and I forgot to take something for it. Thankfully I didn’t need the vomit bag, which is surprising considering the turbulence I had to endure. I joked that we got a pilot in training. We boarded the plane, a 2-seats on each side type, and found our seats. Me in 15D – a window seat, and Benny in 15 B an aisle seat…across the aisle. We waited for my seat mate to arrive, actually hoping they wouldn’t. A few minutes later a well-dressed man put his coat in the seat next to me while he stowed his leather bag in the overhead compartment. When he was finished I asked him if he’d mind switching seats with Benny. He smiled and said, “Are you sure you that’s what you want?” and I replied, “Well, he said he wants to make-out and that would be kind of hard with you in the middle”. Everyone around us had a good laugh, and I sat there happy I could bring it.

Most of the people around us were reading books the whole flight, including me. I’m part way through Susan May Warren’s book In Sheep’s Clothing. I met her at my friend Paula’s house this summer. Cool ladies…great writers…check out their websites. I’m loving the book and already looking forward to the sequel which came out this month, The Sands of Time. There’s something fun about reading books written by people you know. I’m amazed at the people God has brought into my life! And I’m grateful too!

And just in case you’re wondering, our kids are playing the weekend away in Wyoming with their cousins on their 40 acres of land, complete with animals. My city kids are going to have a blast!

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