Sometimes I Write

Max taught himself how to ride his bike. The kid is amazing…and a little annoying now that he wants to ride it in the snow too. All the talk about the ice on our street and cars not being able to stop very fast, and him still learning control, are lost on him. He doesn’t care, he just wants to feel the wind in his hair as he pedals to his heart’s content. He has decided he wants a mohawk again. I actually paid him $2.00 to wait until after Abi takes our family Christmas picture. Yeah, yeah, no “Parent of the Year” award again this year. I’m sure I’ll live.

Zoe was the most beautiful little MARY in her Christmas program for Friday School. She kept waving at us and being territorial with the baby Jesus in the manger. She wanted him left alone and ofcourse the other little kids wanted to touch him too. Do you think the real Mary was like that? “No way, you go wash those dirty, sheep smelling hands before holding my son!” Somehow I doubt it, but who knows? 😉 I joked that having her first “starring role” as Mary would be a hard act to follow in the years to come. “So what kind of acting experience do you have?” “Well, in my first role I played the mother of God…”

Pete is killing me! I bought a candy dispenser at ARC for fifty cents, and tonight I filled it with M&M’s. Starting tomorrow, he gets to dispense some candy everytime he goes potty and his pull-up is still dry. He will be 3 in a few weeks and it’s about darn time he learns to stay dry. I am not above bribery, as you can tell by my story. I’m just praying it works!!! Please God! Let it work!

Speaking of God…Friday morning the van started making an awful noise. I called Benny and he told me to come home since I was close by. I drove another 3 blocks and called him back to tell him to come and get me. I had a bad feeling about the van. He came to get me and drove the van around the parking lot and it wasn’t making the noise, so he told me to follow him home and I could take the car. So I followed while he drove the van. About 4 blocks from our house, I watched in shock as the front right wheel shot off the van and rolled down an embankment into a park. I said WHEEL, not tire. ALL of the pins (or lug bolts if that’s what you call them) had snapped off. Benny was safe, and it happened next to a park so no one or nothing was around to get hurt or damaged. That was good – it could have been bad. Thankfully we have emergency roadside assistance with our car insurance, so the tow truck was there within 30 minutes. Hopefully our van will be ready to pick up tomorrow. It’s a $300 + repair.

Here’s the cool part of the story: We immediately prayed with the kids and thanked God for keeping Benny safe and asked Him to provide the extra money we needed to get the van fixed. We prayed as a family again for God’s provision that night before bed and again Saturday night. This morning at church, Benny was talking to a friend about it and the guy gave us $100.00 to put towards the repair. Wow! Then, we hadn’t checked our mailbox yesterday, so we got the mail on the way home and we had an envelope from some friends on our financial support team. They had forgotten to send their monthly check for us to Dry Bones, so were sending it to us directly. They also sent a check for $200.00 for our family as a Christmas gift. Add it up! We got to talk with our kids about God hearing our prayers and providing for our needs. How awesome is that?! It still amazes me (not surprises me) how He works through His people.

Thank you God for my crazy and funny family. Thank you for providing for our needs and some of our wants as well. You are so good to us and we praise your name. Thank you for coming and being a part of an awesome worship service this morning. I meant every word I sang and said. Thank you for my friends and thank you for my life. Please lead me on in MY journey towards completeness in You. Thank you!

As I’m posting this after midnight, today – December 4th – is one of my best friend’s birthdays. Happy Birthday Linda! I love you so much!

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This is the article I submitted for the next Dry Bones newsletter which will be mailed out in January. I wanted to share it here because these things have really been on my heart lately. As you’re moving forward in life, sometimes it’s nice to look back and see how far you’ve come and how God has grown you through the trials and triumphs. The original article was twice as long and Matt politely told me he loved it but I needed to condense it – ALOT. So, this is the edited version from my long-winded self. As always, I welcome your comments.

As we prepare to start a ministry in the Boulder area, I can’t help but look back at all we have learned since our move to Denver and how we’ve been changed by our experiences here. God placed a love for the “throw away people” in us long ago, and moving here has allowed us to put everything we’ve learned up until now into practice in a very practical way. Though there is not enough space here to share everything we’ve learned during our time with Dry Bones, there are a few truths I felt were important to relay to you – friends and supporters of this ministry.

1. Never judge a book by its cover. It’s easy to make assumptions about others based on appearance, first impressions, or even lifestyles. Working with street kids has taught me that it’s always worth taking a closer look into who a person is. The people I’ve met on the streets have been mostly friendly, willing to talk, and looking for the same basic needs I enjoy – love, family, and a place to belong. They are mistreated all the time – people crossing the street to avoid them, looks of disgust with accusations like, “Why don’t you get a job?”, sexual propositions for pay, and more. It’s hard for them to trust, but they begin to – even if just a little – when you consistently look past their appearances and their language and see the child of God hidden in the many layers of who they are, and treat them accordingly.

2. It’s not about being homeless. That is a symptom of the problem, not the problem itself. Getting the street kids into an apartment and off the streets is no more our end goal than the church getting people to baptism is the final goal. There is more – for both. There is relationship with the One who made them, loves them more than any human possibly could, and has a plan for their life. We can help people find shelter and food, but nothing is more important than loving them to Jesus, the living water, and the One who can sustain them. Meeting the physical needs opens doors to being able to help meet the spiritual needs as well. It’s not just about where you sleep. There are many Christians who sleep on the streets.

3. Jesus said “GO”, not “invite them to come to you”. This is a hard concept because it requires you to go to places you might not be comfortable going. As much as people crave answers and meaning, sometimes there is no strength to “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” and get on with living. By us going to the streets and being with the street kids on their turf, relationships are forged and perceptions are changed, on both sides. Sometimes they come to church or Bible Study with us, or to our homes for meals, but here’s the point: They would never have come if we hadn’t first gone to them.

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I can’t tell you exactly how much snow we’ve gotten in the last 24 hours, but it was enough to keep me indoors (and in pajamas) for the day. I wish I could say I spent it with a good book and a hot cup of chai, but no such luck. Today was cleaning day. I usually do that on Mondays, but Lennie was still here so we played instead. I have my priorities straight. 😉 Benny and Max ventured out for a few hours and came home with a HUGE box which was immediately transformed into a spaceship. They took their markers inside and drew computers, speakers, knobs and levers, etc. I love spaceships…why? Because it kept the kids busy for the rest of the day…right up until bedtime. Max pulled his sleeping bag and pillow in there and he’s camping in it tonight. More power to him. What is life without spending the night in a spaceship?

Tomorrow is our online planning meeting for Zenith. I’m excited to have some communication with my guy friends and hear what all is being planned for this summer. Our theme is HOPE. How appropriate, huh? It’s something we all need and something God offers us so freely. I’m looking forward to hearing what the guys have come up with…and excited that Benny gets to tell them he’ll be back there this year.

I’m trying hard to get caught up on my blog reading, but so many of my blogging friends are more frequent posters than I am. I hope that you check out my friends listed over there in the sidebar. They’re all fantastic people!

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I hate saying goodbye. I don’t do it very well. It’s a very emotional thing for me to let somebody or something leave my life not knowing if it will ever return…Or knowing something isn’t supposed to. That’s hard stuff.

My brother Lennie has been here for a week and it has been great visiting with him. If there were anything I could do to get him to move here, I’d do it. But he’s boarding a plane back to Minnesota tonight and I’ll have to say goodbye. It’s not that I think he won’t return to CO for a visit, or that I won’t travel to see him in Minnesnowta. It’s that I love my time with him and I know from life’s experiences, sometimes there are loooooooong stretches of time between visits.

Sometimes our time is cut short unexpectedly. My dear friend Paula is holding a memorial service today for her beloved grandma. Her family is in Oklahoma holding the official funeral, but due to difficult family circumstances Paula won’t be there to join them. She and her family will remember grandma in their own way here in CO, and though her family will support her the best they can, they didn’t know grandma like Paula did – so in a way she’s mourning alone. She is saying goodbye the best way she knows how and that looks different from the way her family will be saying goodbye.

We’re also preparing to say goodbye to another phase of our life. Working with Dry Bones has been such a learning experience and time for growth and depth for us. We set out to go where God sent us despite some thinking us crazy and reckless. Oh how our faith has been tested and grown, but we’ve gotten better at listening and watching for His leading as we’ve continually followed Him to places we wouldn’t have thought of on our own. First to Indiana, then to Kansas, and back to Colorado. He’s not asking us to move again just yet, but He has redirected our focus to the Boulder area. That means saying goodbye to our time with Dry Bones as we begin a new ministry there. So as excited as I am to begin a new thing, I can’t help but mourn the old.

God is so faithful to provide the little pockets of sunshine I mentioned in my last post. My brother’s visit fits in that category. Encouraging emails from my favorite blogging friends has been another. A letter from Linda. Spending time with my worship team. Thrift shopping with my sister-in-law last Saturday. Going to see CASINO ROYALE with my brother and husband following an amazing meal at a Japanese Country Restaurant/dojo called DOMO. Reading another great book written by Susan. An online planning meeting for Camp Zenith next summer. Eating a slice of Key Lime pie as I type this. Pockets of sunshine indeed!
Thank You God!

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Just in case you didn’t know, that stands for “Too Much Information”, which is what you’re about to get.

Some days life just sucks the Life right out of me. Some days I wish I could just go back to bed and begin the day all over again. If I had my way, I’d wake up on my own – not to an alarm clock or hungry children. I’d lay in bed and read or watch T.V. while Benny brings me a cup of hot chai and a Cranberry Orange scone. When I did decide to get up, I’d slip into my favorite outfit – something that made me feel sexy and alive. Not too sexy, but something that would make my family’s eyes widen in surprise and say, “Wow! You look…Wow!” I would not be identified as a housewife by anyone. Not this day. We would spend the remainder of the morning doing our school lessons and reading great books aloud. After lunch the kids would go to their rooms for a nap and Benny and I would go to our room for alone time. We’d spend a lazy afternoon in each other’s arms, whispering our love to each other and sharing our dreams for the future. Paying bills, responsibilities, and the like would never enter our conversation. We’d just giggle, caress, and love as husband and wife. Supper would be served and cleaned up by someone else – at my favorite restaurant, and the evening would be spent playing games with the kids until bedtime. A friend would arrive to sit with the kids while Benny and I went to a late movie. ZZZZZZzzzzzzz…..

Yeah, I’m dreaming alright. I just had the worst period of my entire life – I’m not joking. I’ve had a death grip on my raging hormones and had to apologize to my brother a few times. He’s here visiting for a week – poor guy! I have been disappointed and annoyed with friends, and been let down by a few as well. I have enjoyed little pockets of sunshine, but what I’ve really needed was a day when life was so bright, I’ve had to wear shades. In a perfect world I’d always say the right words, and sing on key. I wouldn’t get choking fits in the middle of a special communion song, or get mad at friends who arrive late. In a perfect world, I would be compassionate ALL the time instead of being annoyed with those who suck the life out of others because they haven’t ever known any other way of living. In a perfect world, my youngest child would be potty trained, and I’d be patient and trusting with God’s timing in my life. In a perfect world my friends wouldn’t be suffering through cancer, and I’d be in touch with all the people I care about. In a perfect world I’d, I’d…well…I’d live like I really am free instead of falling into the trap of living in pseudo-freedom. But I don’t live in a perfect world. Some days suck…and that’s life. I don’t feel like saying it in a prettier way.

Through it all, I know I am loved and if I can only cling to ONE thing in times like these, it’s that I am deeply loved by the God of all things. He knows my heart, isn’t offended when I use the word “suck”, and has a plan for my future. So even on the days that suck – I am blessed indeed.

All who are thirsty, All who are weak

Come to the fountain, dip your heart in the stream of Life

Let the pain and the sorrow be washed away in the waves of His mercy,

As deep cries out to deep, we sing

Come Lord Jesus, Come