thinking things through | Sometimes I Write

Archive for the ‘thinking things through’ Category

The Golden Compass Bandwagon

Posted in Movies, Rants, thinking things through on November 3, 2007| 41 Comments »

I want to thank my many friends who have warned me about this movie through emails and their own blogs. I know they wanted me to know the concerns surrounding this movie because they know and love our family and want what is best for us. I am grateful to have friends who care.

I have been wrestling with what to say regarding this topic. I started receiving these warnings last week and they’re still coming. One friend said she sent it to me because she knew I’d check it out. I’ve spent about 6 hours researching the movie, the books it was adapted from, and the author, Philip Pullman. I read websites, blogs, newspaper and in-person interviews, and even watched a few videos of Mr. Pullman answering some tough questions. The reason for my obsession? I don’t like bandwagons. They are overcrowded and smell bad due to a few of their facts being wrong or exaggerated. Since I’m more of the research-and-think-things-through-before-forming-my-own-opinion kind of girl, I decided to do just that. I’m pretty sure I’ve been down every rabbit hole available with the exception of actually reading the books myself. After taking in all of the information I could find, I have some observations I’d like to offer. But before I begin, I want to make a VERY clear statement that I am not at this time endorsing the author, his books, the movie coming out next month, or atheism in any manner. I am a follower of the teachings of Jesus Christ and will never be ashamed to say so.

When Benny and I saw the trailer for The Golden Compass in the theater, we decided it would be our family Christmas movie this year. The effects are spectacular, having children has warmed us to talking animals, and we love a good mystery/suspense/fantasy story. It seemed like a Narnia-ish kind of movie, which we loved. Benny bought the book so I could read it before the movie came out, but it has been collecting dust on my bookshelf. Fast forward to last week when the warnings began to arrive by email. I was very surprised. I talked with Benny and we decided not to see the movie. I threw the book in the trash bin of my office because I wouldn’t want to support anything anti-Christian. Throwing a book away about killed me. Books are my friends. 😉

I didn’t have peace about it so as the emails kept coming, I kept reading. I noticed that all of the warnings were pointing back to the article on snopes.com. So I read the article. I followed all of the links and resources and found that in several places the author was mis-quoted or someone’s opinion about the books were stated as fact. I read a lot of people’s comments that began with “I heard”. Not very many of the people commenting and interviewing had actually read the books. I started to get the same feeling I got a few years ago when this very thing happened with the Harry Potter books. I actually read the words of someone that said J.K. Rowling was a witch and promoted witchcraft because she wears pointy shoes! So it was time to dig deeper. What I found was disturbing. Lots of Christians persecuting this man and his works because he’s an atheist. Atheists yelling about New Line Cinemas catering to the Christians by removing the religious elements from the film – the “church” in the story is corrupt and they want that portrayed. People saying Mr. Pullman hates God. And everyone pointing back to snopes.com which was largely a collection of emailed opinions from readers or people who “had heard” something and wanted to pass it on.

Snopes is A reference, not THE reference. Even Barbara Mikkelson, half of the snopes team says, “The moral of the story is that you should never take anyone’s word for anything, including ours. That is why we list our references at the bottom of our pages, so that you can independently verify our work. We are the Urban Legends Reference Pages — we provide references so that people can do their own research. We do not claim to be the ultimate arbiters of fact.”

The snopes claim was:The 2007 film The Golden Compass is based on a series of books with anti-religious themes. After all that research I have to agree with them. But I also have to agree with the author regarding a few of his “anti-religious beliefs”. One of the most informative interviews I read was this one in which Mr. Pullman does in fact confirm some of why I won’t jump on HIS bandwagon. But I think he is right in railing against a corrupt church. I do too. Does that make me anti-religious? He says he doesn’t hate God – as has been reported by many. He hates the horrible things believers/the church/organized religion has done in the name of God. It has happened throughout history and we see that happening today not just with “other people”, but in some of our own churches.

I was in turmoil over this post because I have been frustrated a long time with how to address the ignorance and prejudice I see in a lot of religious circles. I’m annoyed by the hateful things Christians have been saying and the knee-jerk, angry, and fear-filled reactions from the people who haven’t verified their facts or read the books. By the time the FWD button has been hit, there is an emotional build up. That passion then fuels ignorance in warnings, insults, and discussions.

In several of the interviews I read, Mr. Pullman seemed to take issue with believers not walking our walk. We just talk like we do. Ouch. Mr. Pullman said it’s too bad we as believers don’t live like the Gospels say we should. I can see where he gets that. We are usually uncomfortable with major differences of opinion over anything spiritual. Those we disagree with are sometimes shunned or persecuted themselves. We forget the love we’re supposed to be treating each other with. We don’t allow for much exploration and examination of faith. We tend to expect people to just accept and when someone has deep, serious questions that beg for answers, we get frustrated that they don’t just “get it” and join our cause. Could this be where he is coming from?

Mr. Pullman has a very humanistic take on life. I believe he’s more agnostic than atheistic. Either way, he doesn’t share my values as a believer. I understand that. Does he still have something to offer through his writing? Probably. I have read a few articles by Christians who like his books and saw a spiritual message in them…not the one he may have intended, but good lessons none the less. Pullman has been called the male J.K. Rowling. As far as my research has led me, Rowling wasn’t trying to write the Potter books with Christian themes, but they are there anyway. I’ve read them. Is Pullman dangerous? Are his books dangerous? I don’t think he’s any more dangerous than he was in 1995 when his books were first published. 12 years ago. That’s a long time. Where were the warnings then?

It’s sad that it sometimes takes something like this to hold a mirror up to ourselves to see where our faith is. Do we support the film or don’t we?…and why? We need to use that mirror when we are considering ANY entertainment – movies, books, and T.V. shows. So here are my questions: Why is our faith challenged by atheism more than inappropriate sex, violence, and some of the other things we accept as normal in our T.V. shows and movies? Why haven’t I received warnings about shows that promote a lifestyle God wouldn’t approve of? I can give some examples of the shows I like that fit that description. I’m guilty too. One of the shows I’ve loved the past two years features a bunch of surgeons who sleep with each other every chance they get. yikes. That’s not the main focus of the show, but it’s a pretty big one.

I know sometimes it’s hard to know what to speak up about and what to remain silent on. I like to think believers have good intentions when they do jump on these bandwagons. I just wish it wasn’t so selective. Since I don’t know a single person who has read these books, I’m going to read the books myself over the next few weeks and blog about what I find. But right now, here’s what I want us to think about:

We usually find what we’re looking for in books and movies. Good or bad.
Sometimes we get what we don’t bargain for. Good and bad.
There are spiritual lessons to be learned all around us – in both the good and bad. We shouldn’t go looking for the bad, but we shouldn’t assume everything is bad either.
We need to know the facts then make an informed decision.
We need to love and not judge those who come to different conclusions than we do. That is the way to walk our walk. There is only one judge and our role is that of the sinner. Sinners don’t get to judge other sinners…and we all are.
We need to pray for Mr. Pullman. Like my friend told me yesterday, he could very well be a Prodigal son.
What is it in us that wants to warn others? Is it true concern, or is it slacktivism?

As for the questioning of the faith of children, or the molding and shaping of that faith, (a concern that has been raised in this discussion), that’s for tomorrow’s post.

Read Full Post »

Make new friends but keep the old…

Posted in Random, thinking things through on October 25, 2007| 11 Comments »

I’ve recently been getting in touch with friends from my past. As exciting as that is, it’s also been a little weird. I am such a different person than I was in high school, yet there are pieces of me that remain the same. I’ve hoped that it was enough common ground to renew what friendship there was with these people. I’m sure they’ve changed as well. It’s called growing up.

In August I traveled back to WI for my sister’s wedding. While there I spent the evening with the woman who used to be my best friend in junior high and part of high school. Some rough things happened in our relationship and somehow the friendship slid into oblivion and we lost touch. I hadn’t seen her since high school and was really nervous about having anything to talk about. When I’m nervous, I talk…a lot. I couldn’t seem to shut my mouth that night. I couldn’t handle the moments of silence that crept in, and I couldn’t read her at all. I still don’t know how she felt about our reunion.
I felt this urge to tell her my life story. To somehow explain who I was back then and why. It doesn’t matter anymore, but it goes back to that dumb need I have to be heard and understood. I wanted to tell her why I acted the way I did, why I hid so many things about my family, why I was so tough and angry. Why I always spent the night at her house and never invited her to spend the night at mine. None of it matters anymore. Let it go. That’s what I told myself over and over again. She probably doesn’t even remember. I however, have the uncanny ability to remember random thoughts and conversations years and years after they happened. It drives Benny crazy. I forget to mail birthday cards. I forget about appointments unless I’ve written them on two different calendars. I forget to put gas in the van until it’s almost empty. But I remember the solo I sang in my Kindergarten play, and what I was wearing and the song that was playing when my best guy friend asked me to dance at the single homecoming dance I attended where we were both serving punch. I remember BW’s football jersey number, and the silly jokes my 7th grade Science teacher told us while we dissected frogs. And I remember the rain dripping down the windshield and the feel of the necklace in my hand that my boyfriend had given me moments before breaking up with me on Valentine’s Day in 1989. Weird. That’s me. I remember odd things. I remember things others don’t until reminded of them. So maybe I remember things differently than those who knew me when remember them.

Last week I found a friend on Facebook. This guy was a light in my life in high school. He could ALWAYS make me laugh and he enjoyed doing so. It’s fun to see him all grown up and married with children. I have wished the best for him for years and I’m excited to have him back in my life. He still makes me laugh. I believe he was my first verbal sparring partner (in a good way) and I’ve only had a few in my 35 years of life. He trained me well. Through him I found another friend. I think this may be snowballing. I could be in touch with everyone I’ve ever known soon. lol I don’t think I’m interested in taking it that far. There are a few people I’d like to forget thank-you-very-much!

When meeting old friends after several years, the urge is the same. Explain myself. Why is that? I’m not a bad person and I wasn’t when they knew me either. Do I have this twisted sense of who I was and it’s not even close to who everyone else thought I was? Why the insecurity? Is it enough to know they are doing well and move along with life? With me that’s rarely the case. I want to know what makes them tick too. I love people. That’s who I am. That’s what I do. I believe the people in my life have been there for a reason-even if only for a season. I also believe you can never have too many friends, but I’m certainly not living in the past.

I have come so far, or so I feel,

I rose above my past.

I’ve climbed tall mountains of uncertainty,

and been over fences in search of greener grass.

I’ve changed a lot, yet I’m not the way I wish to be…

it haunts me still – my past.

I wrote that in college. Those words still ring true to me after all these years. Oh, I’m not as melancholy as I was when I wrote that, but the question remains. Who am I compared to who I was and who I am becoming? Don’t we all wonder that at one point or another? I look at the two pictures of me in this post and I think. WOW! Two very different people with drastically different goals in life. It can’t just be the difference of 18 years, can it? The first – a copy of a copy -was taken around my 17th birthday for Senior pictures and the second was taken by my best friend this summer for my 35th birthday. For my friends who knew me and loved me at 17…I hope they like me at 35 as well. If they don’t…well…they’re missing out. I’m like fine wine – I get better with age. 😉 lol

Read Full Post »

Worship

Posted in Growing Faith, thinking things through on October 19, 2007| 3 Comments »

“A sinful act involves worship of the wrong kind…Repentance is literally a transfer of our worship back to the One who rightfully owns it…Worship has been misunderstood as something that arises from a feeling which “comes upon you,” but it is vital that we understand that it is rooted in a conscious act of the will, to serve and obey the Lord Jesus Christ. The feelings, the joy of having been forgiven, follow on as a consequence of our reunion with him.” -Graham Kendrick

Michael sent this quote out this morning on our church email loop. He asked what worship means to us. Worship has been a touchy subject for most of my life. That sounds a little crazy, but it has. I grew up calling what we did on Sunday mornings “worship” as in “Get your butt in gear or we’re going to be late for worship”. It was a church service that to me was boring, stiff, and void of much emotion. I had a relationship with Jesus so I knew from personal experience that the Holy Spirit made me FEEL. I knew it wasn’t supposed to be all about the feelings, but surely it was supposed to move me in some way. I wanted it to challenge me to change something about my life not out of guilty feelings, but either conviction (there’s a huge difference between conviction and guilt – the first one comes from God and the second one does not) or joy of being and doing for the Lord. That was not my experience. Worship was all about the obedience of “not forsaking the assembly” and the command to gather to take communion on the first day of the week. We actually had an attendance roster with little check marks by those names who were present. They were keeping track of who missed church and who didn’t. I still don’t get that. Worship was a series of acts laid out in an orderly fashion to make sure we were doing what we were supposed to be doing. Worship was to be held a certain way with a certain kind of music and had to include certain activities or it was not worship. Whatever.

When I talk about my church growing up, you are getting my perspective as a child and a teenager who questioned everything and was left with few answers and some I didn’t agree with. As an adult, I’ve talked with others about how things were and have found that I’m not far off. I also revisited that church as an adult and little had changed since my childhood. Most of the people were friendly and loved me, so this isn’t about how everyone was so-so Christians. They were good people, but they were stuck in a broken system and content to stay there. It was mechanical and dutiful, not so much community driven and about relationships. To be fair, I haven’t been a part of that community in several years so I don’t know what if any changes are taking place. But when I was a part of it all, I felt like part of The Stepford Church. Now that’s a catchy title. Maybe I need to write that book. 😉 We all tried to look happy to be there. Smiles were in place and heads were held high, going through the motions. It was nice to see the people you loved there, but when someone was missing due to anything but travel or illness, there were those worried glances and whispers about praying for so and so and hoping they weren’t “falling away” from the flock. And we were THE chosen flock…or so I was told.

*Disclaimer: I’m still working through some forgiveness here, but please don’t think God and I haven’t talked about my attitude when it comes to some of His children thinking they’re the only ones saved.

I heard a preacher say once – not at my church – we should have the joy of the Lord flowing out of us and that people should be able to see it on our faces. From the looks of things, very few people at my church had the joy of the Lord. If they did, their faces hid it well. There were a few that hugged me and cared about me and gave me gum, but everything in general seemed so serious. It was like we were at a funeral so nobody should sing too loudly, the prayers should be filled with language we don’t use in everyday life, and the communion glasses needed to be filled just right with “the fruit of the vine” – not too full, but enough to get a good sip. Oh how I yearned for more. We don’t serve a God who wants us to keep our respectful distance. God wants us to climb up in His lap and tell him knock-knock jokes that He already knows the answer to and belly laugh with us. He wants to hold us when we cry and in Psalm 56 it says that He collects all our tears in a bottle and records our every misery. THAT is who I worship. Not just because of what He has done for me, but because of who He is. How often have you felt like He is the disciplinary parent and you’re just hiding what you did from Him so you don’t get into trouble? As a parent, I don’t want my children to view me that way and I don’t think God wants us to view Him that way either. Sure He disciplines us. We need it and it’s for our own good. But I don’t want to hear about ONLY that part of His parenting. Where is the balance in only hearing about how bad we are and that we’re lucky to be saved-IF we’re saved? That’s hard whether you’re an adult or a child. I wanted worship to be a time of sharing what God has done in our lives, a remembrance of who He is and what He’s done for His people. I wanted to sing loudly and proudly and proclaim the mutual love we have with Him. I wanted a whole glass of grape juice to myself and a thick slice of bread so I could remember that He was poured out on the alter for me and that His body was broken for me – not a little bit, but the whole thing. The passion of Christ was not boring or stiff or held back. It was full and complete and definitely not void of emotion. No, worship is not meant to be feelings, but it sure does evoke them. Worship is an act of obedience and honor – not just plain old shredded wheat, but the kind with frosting and covered in really cold milk.

I was not made to worship on Sunday mornings. I worship because it’s what I was made to do 24/7 – with all that I am and am becoming. My life is an act of worship. Sometimes it’s lame and stiff and not very pleasing, but I aim to make it bold and true, and full of Life. Like many others, I don’t want worship to be a forced emotional experience. I want it to be so natural that it isn’t just crammed into a certain time slot every week. When we do meet together – when I’m in my community of believers on Sunday mornings and every other time we get together – I want to be joined with my family and friends in a harmony of worship. Harmony is the blending of parts -“A pleasing combination of the elements that form a whole”. Your worship and my worship may look different, but the recipient should be the same, and worship should be who we are and what we do whether we’re gathered in a community of believers or not.

Back to our quote. “Reunion with Him” Yes. That sums it up. That is the point. Reunion with Him NOW, not some day in the future. Now. Worship. Service and obedience out of love. Joy from being forgiven. It all comes together and points back to Him.

Read Full Post »

A day of reflection and re-evaluation

Posted in Creativity, thinking things through on September 17, 2007| 1 Comment »

It’s one of my favorite days of the month. Specifically-my day off. The sky today has been a kaleidescope of weather. It was raining when I woke up, now it’s mostly cloudy, with the sun breaking through for an occasional hello. I’m sitting here in a coffee shop relaxing and surfing the web. I’ve been blog hopping for the past hour and leaving comments for friends. It seems like I haven’t had the time to do that much lately. Last week was pretty rough with school starting and my sad attempt to get my family back on a routine. I’m still trying to figure out how to do it all.

It seems I’ve had more cloudy days than sunny ones lately. I’m struggling to see a future with a lack of financial stress, so I’m looking back and seeing God’s faithfulness in providing for my family when we didn’t think we’d make it through the month financially, like this month. I’m working through some hard issues with a few of my friendships, but as I look back I clearly see where He provided friends to walk through some difficult times and days of loneliness. I have great friends and I’m thankful. I’ve been too emotional dealing with my kids and the balancing act of homeschooling. I am a teacher. I’ve been teaching my kids since they entered the world. I’m not proud of some of the unspoken lessons they’ve learned from me, but I know I’ve taught them (and still am teaching them) the things that matter. They love God. They love others. They are compassionate and people of character. They are world changers. I wouldn’t give that up for a straight 365 days of tough homeschooling. The routines will come and things will get better. I know this to be true.

Why is it that when the storm is raging around us all we see is the destruction outside and not the strong walls that protect us? Surely I’m not alone in this. There are storms I’m strong through – an anchor firmly planted – and then there are storms that sweep me out to sea. ~sigh~

My day off. A day of rest. A day to rejuvenate myself so I can face the days ahead. It’s crazy that I look forward to this day with such anticipation and when it arrives I have a hard time deciding how to spend it. What do I enjoy? How do I relax? I read. I drink tea and chai. I write. I devour magazines, mentally filing away the many tips that will improve my life and those of my family and friends. I chat on the phone. I mark up my Bible with highlighting pens. I sing. I blog. I love my days of rest, but resting doesn’t feel natural to me. I have to plan for it. Work for it. Fight for it.

Back in July when Tawnya was here we toured Celestial Seasonings. This painting is one of the first things you see when you enter the visitor center. It instantly brought a smile to my face because it really spoke to me. It encompassed what I need most in my life…rest. Thanks to Bruce Wolfe for painting it. You can see more of his art on the Celestial Seasonings website.

Read Full Post »

A Princess Story – Part 3

Posted in Family, Humor, Joy in the Journey, thinking things through on September 15, 2007| 5 Comments »

The big day arrived and after much hassle, the Princess boarded her flying coach and made her way towards the royal family and her fears. With a stop off to see one of her favorite Princes and Mall of America, she was feeling strong and ready to handle whatever might happen at the royal wedding.

The tension in the King’s palace was evident though everyone was glad to see the Princess again. There was much to do and the Princess enjoyed the last minute preparations with the King. The wedding day arrived…and it was raining. The bride-to-be was frantic, but the Princess was able to reassure her that there were several hours before the wedding and plenty of time for the grass to dry at the country club for the pictures. Which it did. (Thank God!) The wedding was beautiful as was the bride and all of her maidens. (Two of the four were the Princess’ sisters-in-law.) The Princess sang her heart out and made the bride cry. The princes served in their roles well, and the King beamed as he watched his last child be married off. The wonderful step-queen was gracious and loving to all.

(Princess Cara, Princess Teresa, and Princess Marcia – The lovely bride)

Then came the tension. Pictures. The royal photographer was a jovial man and he allowed the Princess to take some of her own pictures as well telling her which angles were best, etc. The evil-ex-step queen made a big deal out of getting pictures with HER children only with the bride and groom. She was standing right next to the Princess while she said it. 😦 The Princess ignored her and tried not to explode. There were other tense moments throughout the day, but the Princess smiled on and did her best to support her beautiful bride little sister. Here are a few pictures of the royal family – not taken by the photographer. He’s a professional afterall!

(From L-R: Princess Angie, Prince Jason, Princess Niki, Prince Chris, Princess Teresa, Prince Eric, and Princess Cara. Three of the Princess’ brothers and their lovely wives.)

All in all, the Princess’ time with the royal family went well. The evil-ex-step-queen turned out to be less of a threat than the Princess had worried about. She deserves her name, but no more than a passing mention in the story of this Princess. 🙂

The Royal Family including King Don and his wonderful Queen Shari, The Bride and Groom – Princess Marcia and Prince Sam, and the sweetest little princess of all…Katelyn. Princess Sarah (3), Princess Kerstin (8), and Prince Gage (5) were off playing somewhere when this was taken . 😉 And of course the Princess’ family was in Colorado and missed the whole thing.

The cutest little princess – Princess Katelyn.

The Princess Story is far from over, but this is the close of this chapter. There were experiences both painful and exhilarating while the Princess was in the kingdom of her youth. It has been a lot to process and is too much to share here. The Princess would be happy to share more details with anyone interested. Thanks to all who read this story and prayed for the ending to be a happy one!