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Archive for the ‘October Challenge’ Category

My how I’ve changed…

Posted in Free to be me, Growing Faith, Homelessness, October Challenge, thinking things through on October 20, 2011| 5 Comments »

A man’s body was pulled from Boulder Creek yesterday. It’s the second time this month, and my very first thought was, “Oh God! Please don’t let it be anyone I know.” It’s not what I would have thought before we moved here. Back then I would have thought, “How sad!” and gone on with my day. Now news like that stops me cold. It got me thinking about how far I’ve come – how much I’ve changed. I am still me, but I’m a better version. Growth is good. My edges are smoother, the hardness softened, I have thicker skin, and more patience. God has made me pliable, more loving and forgiving, and definitely more dependent on Him. I’ve let go of so many preconceived notions about others, found a deep community of friends, walked through healing of some of my childhood horrors, and stepped into a new life of writing and speaking.

Yes, I’ve changed. The past 7 years have held such beautiful moments of triumph and crushing moments of sorrow. I’ve experienced new life and the sting of death. I know more is to come, but this post is about seeing how I’ve changed in practical and visible ways.

7 years ago, if the weatherman reported a forecast of a blizzard, I would smile and think, “Yes! Good napping weather, hot chocolate, pajama days.” Now I worry about my friends who live on the street and hope they find shelter with warmth and welcome.

7 years ago, I threw away food when it hit its expiration date. (Like it magically goes bad at midnight on that day??) Now, I am choosy about the food I get rid of and I not only share with friends in need, I feed my family on America’s leftovers. I use lots of coupons, shop at bakery outlets, and frequent a food bank.

7 years ago, I thought homeless people were middle-aged men with missing teeth, holding brown bags wrapped around a bottle. Now I know they are just like me. They have family and friends, problems and stress, and cover all ages from birth to 100 years old. They are someone’s daughter, son, father, or mother. Like me, they have a story to tell and need someone to listen and care.

7 years ago, I relied on a steady paycheck with insurance for my kids and money to pay for swimming lessons. Now I rely on God moving in people’s hearts and donations to our ministry so we can pay our bills, feed our family, and share what we have with our street friends. There is no money for lessons or insurance.

7 years ago, I was nervous pulling up to a stop light if there was a person there holding a sign asking for money, food, or work. Now stop lights are opportunities for me to chat, ask a name, and offer bottled water, new socks, and snacks to the person with the sign.

7 years ago, I hoped for miracles of healing. Now I manifest them.

7 years ago, I stepped out of the church (full-time ministry) and into the world. Now I step out of the world (full-time ministry) to speak at churches.

7 years ago, I was pretty self-centered and loved people like me. Now I’m less so and love people whom I have little in common with, and I’ve been surprised by who those people are. They’re not who you might think.

7 years ago, I thought my faith was real. Now I know it is.

I’ve come a long way and I’m looking more and more like the me I am made to be.

What about you? How have you changed in the last 7 years?

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Death Leaves a Heartache

Posted in Learning to Cope, October Challenge on October 19, 2011| 7 Comments »

Christopher would have been 3 months old a week ago today. Instead, Lexi and I drove to Children’s Hospital to pick up his autopsy report. Pulling into the parking lot felt like being punched in the stomach. Walking through the entrance, I couldn’t help but lift my eyes to the 4th floor balcony and remember the details, emotions, and horrors of July 22nd. I choked on my tears as we walked back to the medical records office, and I updated my Facebook status as I sat waiting while Lexi signed the paperwork. She sat down next to me, staring helplessly into my eyes. Mirrored pools of grief. We left, hoping never to return, and hugged and cried in the parking lot.

If you’re new here, you can read  about Christopher’s amazing delivery here, and my memorial post about him here. But even those two posts only hint at the whole story. He is loved and he is missed. I have been able to get through a few days here and there without thinking about him, but the anguish I experienced today was fresh and rolled over me in waves. My heart still bleeds. Lexi and I likened it to ripping off scabs that haven’t healed and begun to separate from the wound yet. I told her that grief has no deadline and she should take her time dealing with life as it comes. Another lesson for me as I practice what I preach.

Tomorrow is a new day, one with hope and love and room to grieve and heal, but today was rough. Very rough…but I’m still standing.

“Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o’er-wrought heart and bids it break.” ~ William Shakespeare

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief… and unspeakable love.” ~ Washington Irving

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” ~Winston Churchill

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Laughter is the best medicine…

Posted in Humor, Just for fun, October Challenge, Random on October 18, 2011| 2 Comments »

I was sick all last week, and now my October Challenge partner is sick. Since I’m in Colorado and he’s in France, I can’t make him (and his pregnant wife who is also sick) homemade chicken soup, I thought I’d do the next best thing. Who couldn’t use a good laugh when they feel crappy? Unless it causes a painful coughing fit….I hope not, but I apologize if it happens! Here’s to finding something to chuckle about, and I hope Don and Ami heal quickly!

(All of these pictures were found while on StumbleUpon. Are you stumbling yet?)

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Pictures of Pete

Posted in Family, Homeschooling, Humor, Just for fun, Nowell Kiddos, October Challenge, Parenting on October 17, 2011| 7 Comments »

Pete is my goofy kid. He is highly entertaining! One of Benny’s favorite hashtags on Twitter is #randomcrappetesays. He loves making people laugh and he’s one of those kids that is just naturally funny. He uses a lot of big words-most of the time in the correct context, but it’s funny to hear those things come out of such a small mouth. Much to the dismay of his siblings, he also loves playing practical jokes on people.

Pete is a builder. He loves to spread things out so he can get a good look at what he’s got to work with, so it was no surprise when he covered our dining room table with Legos last night and spent hours dreaming up variations of speed cruisers, water/land boats, and various flying machines. He makes all the noises that go along with building things and it gives me the giggles. He plays with such abandon. I want to be more like that.

If we were a normal family –and believe me, I know we’re not – Pete would have been labeled already. I’d have teachers wanting him sedated medicated. The boy has loads of energy. A few years ago I was lectured by a woman who told me that at some point he needed to learn how to be quiet and sit still. Duh. He knows how to do that and I believe there is a time and place for it, but I also let him be him. He often stands up to do his schoolwork, or does a problem then spins around in his desk chair, then does another problem. He concentrates better when he can wiggle a bit. If I notice him getting too squirrely, I have him do jumping jacks or bounce up and down for a minute. It helps. I also understand that he can sit for hours at a time if he is engrossed in what he’s doing (like his Lego time), so I’m not going to let him be labeled. I’m going to take my cues from him, then direct him accordingly.

This pic (click on it to enlarge it) is proof to all who are familiar with his energy level that he can in fact sit quietly in a chair. It doesn’t happen often, but it’s possible. He can also sit still in public. This is him playing Chess with one of our street friends on the mall. He LOVES being there with us, and he talks to everybody.  He is somewhat fearless in public. For example, he took a blanket and his bongos to the Pearl Street Mall and played for over an hour hoping to make a little cash. I NEVER would have done something like that at his age.

He’s an amazing kid, goofiness, high energy, and all. I love him that way, I just wish he’d share some of that energy with me. 🙂

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A Night Owl’s Reprieve

Posted in Learning to Cope, October Challenge, thinking things through, Works for me on October 16, 2011| 6 Comments »

Here it is friends, the conclusion to the insomnia posts, for now. After my discussion with Benny about my sleep issues and thinking through our kid’s sleep patterns, I wanted to dig a little deeper. I’ve read several articles and received advice from many friends, and I have some new conclusions which may change again in the future, who knows?

As with most topics, there are a wide range of opinions. I was pretty sure I knew the cause of my insomnia, and there is plenty of data to back it up, but then I read a few articles on Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome, which is a fancy name for being an extreme night owl. It has to do with the circadian rhythm and where most people can make their bodies adjust to earlier bed and wake times, people with this disorder (I really hate that word) cannot, and attempts at therapies to correct it cause a variety of issues such as depression and physical illness. Often there is a feeling of having a lack of will power or others viewing you as lazy because it’s difficult for you to get up in the morning. BUT, those who have DSPS usually get good sleep once they go to sleep, it just happens later in the 24 hour cycle than the societal norm.

I was chatting about this with my friend Beckie today and I told her that my perfect sleeping hours – the ones that feel most natural to me – are 2 a.m. to 9 a.m. If left to sleep when my body wants to, and wake up feeling rested, this is when I sleep. But friends, it’s an early bird world we live in, and all the early birds want us night owls to conform. Whether or not I am ever diagnosed with DSPS, I have almost all of the symptoms, and guess what? It’s thought to be hereditary. I know both of my parents are morning people, so it must not come from them, but it does explain why my son Max has similar tendencies.

Now, this doesn’t mean I’m ruling out a calcium or magnesium deficiency, or the amount of stress in my life, or even the fear aspect of going to sleep, but it was eye-opening for me to read that this isn’t as uncommon as I thought. This article mentioned a few therapies that have been tried to help those who might suffer from DSPS such as practicing good sleep hygiene, light therapy, Chronotherapy, and Melatonin, which incidentally can cause nightmares and actually disrupt sleep. Hmmm…interesting. I’ve taken Melatonin – a natural OTC supplement sold in the U.S. – a few times to help me relax and sleep. The article also listed several external links on the subject of sleep disorders. It’s interesting reading if this topic suits you.

There is a group out there called the B-Society. I haven’t fully researched them, but I loved this blurb on their website:

Why do we need to work at the same time and in identical patterns as the industrial times, when today’s innovation society does not demand this from us? Especially now, when we discover that a fourth of our entire population does not even fit to this old-fashioned day rhythm?

Why do we all have to be stuck on the road to work every morning and hurry back from there to pick up the kids before the day-care centre closes, when actually this could be different?

B-Society’s mission is to change the structures, on the labour market and in society at large, so B-people can finally fit in. We are going to reckon with the 8-4 society and its lacking respect for B-persons’ day rhythms.

YEAH! Oh…um…sorry. So now that I’m even more (and less) confused about my insomnia, let me wrap this up for us, okay?

I do feel that my natural circadian rhythm is okay and because of the lifestyle we have chosen (running our own ministry, freelance writing and homeschooling), I don’t see a reason to change that. Thank God Benny doesn’t either. He doesn’t get the whole being a night owl thing, but he loves and supports me and said he’ll get the kids going in the morning with breakfast, their chore charts, and school work until I get up. In turn, I’ll get everyone ready for bed and tucked in at night. I love it when a plan comes together. 😉 Speaking of plans, here’s mine, and it’s even better than the one I came up with the other day.

I’m going to keep a sleep diary for the next few weeks and figure out if I’m correct in the 2-9 a.m. thing and adjust accordingly.

I will make sure that I take my vitamins, drink plenty of water (blech), and get my exercise.

I will practice good sleep hygiene, and get a regular bedtime routine down, and then I will reevaluate. My hypothesis is that I will discover I do have a delayed sleep pattern but it’s not necessarily a disadvantage.

I will track my normal habits and see what patterns emerge, and I’ll revisit this topic with an update in about a month.

I know there are other factors to insomnia, but I want to see what happens when I approach this from a physical standpoint. We’ll see…

So, are you a night owl or an early bird? An A person or a B person? Are you happy with whichever you are?

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