Sometimes I Write

First on the list is the debut of Benny’s new blog. (I’m still wishing he’d post on the one he already had…which he says he will again sometime.) He and my brother Lennie have started a joint effort blog to hold each other accountable and encourage each other in all things strength related. If that’s your thing, then go check out “Band of Brothers”.

I once posted on Supermom how Veggie Tales saved our sex life…you’ll have to read it for a good laugh. Being a Veggie Fan, I’m happy to bring the following announcement to all of my fellow Veggie Fans out there:

VeggieTales: On TV!
Series to Launch on NBC and Telemundo September 9 and and i Network September 15

Get ready VeggieTales fans — have we got a TV show for you! After 13 years, VeggieTales will make its debut in living rooms all across America thanks to the wonderful world of broadcast television. Beginning September 9, Big Idea will introduce their host of animated veggies to the viewers of NBC, i Network and to the Spanish-speaking audience of the Telemundo Network.

The Saturday morning block will begin on September 9 on NBC, beginning at 10:00 a.m. EST followed by a 3-2-1 Penguins! or LarryBoy Adventures show at 11:00 a.m. Telemundo will carry the same blocks in Spanish beginning on September 9 at 8:00 a.m., while the i Network will air the blocks beginning on Friday, September 15 at 3:00 p.m. EST.

Big Idea has an amazing opportunity to bring “Sunday Morning Values, Saturday Morning Fun” to television and reach a huge audience which may have never heard of Bob, Larry, Silly-Songs or The Pirates who Don’t do Anything. Along with the ever-adorable VeggieTales crew, 3-2-1 Penguins! and the LarryBoy Adventures 2-D series will also be featured in the Saturday morning and Friday afternoon time-block.

Join Big Idea and Veggie-fans everywhere as we tune in to celebrate this momentous occasion.
To read more about VeggieTales coming to TV, visit bigidea.com.

We got up early after a bad night’s sleep with children not staying in their beds. We went to Dr. Zack’s for our weekly visit and then straight to the gym where the lady in the daycare smiled and said, “We haven’t seen you in a while…are you dropping off all three today?” Apparently when you drop off three kids it makes you a bit memorable to child care workers. I smiled and said, “yes, well you’ll be seeing a lot more of us from now on” as I silently promised that to be truth. As you walk out the door they cheerfully say, “Have a great workout!” and I wanted to say back, “You too!” (hehe) Afterall, THEY are now in charge of my three balls of energy! Benny and I did have a great workout…one that was long overdue. I cut about a minute and a half off my mile walking time. Yeah Niki! I can’t believe it’s been three months since I’ve been to the gym. Getting back on the treadmill isn’t hard at all…getting to the gym from my house is the challenge.

On the way into the gym we struck up a conversation with a 60 something year old woman. She was incredibly friendly and we joked about trudging back to the gym. She found me again right after I weighed in and said, “Don’t you just hate that part?” I replied, “Yes, but I want to track my progress so it’s a necessary evil”. She said she’d been working out for five weeks and hadn’t lost a single pound and neither had her daughter that was with her. I encouraged her not to give up and told her we both need to stick with it. She said “No matter what I do I’ll probably never look like her” indicating a slender and muscular woman on a machine close by. I said, “Well, I don’t think we’re necessarily supposed to look like her. God gave us all different body types and I just want to look like me – atleast the me I’m meant to look like”. She looked into my eyes and said, “You’re really a beautiful woman…good luck with your workout”. I had just been blessed by a stranger when I looked less than stellar – no makeup, my hair pulled up in a bun, baggy workout pants and plain old t-shirt. Did I bless her in return by encouraging her not to give up and reminding her we’re not all supposed to be slender, muscular gym bunnies? I hope so. I saw her beauty as well…she was kind to a stranger, she was there with her daughter so she wouldn’t have to be alone, and she was trying to better herself even though it was difficult. Beauty really is all around me.

The day got difficult when Benny and I made a decision that left our children in tears…we have to give Girly away. Yes, I know…I’m really sad about it too. Petey’s allergies have taken a drastic turn for the worse and we think Girly has something to do with that. She is the perfect dog and I am shocked at the depth of my emotion for an animal I’ve had less than a full month. She is amazing and I will be sad to see her go. Our friends that have three little girls are going to take her and see how the husband’s allergies do with her. They have been looking for a dog. If they decide not to keep her, giving her back to the neighbor is still an option. Max and Zoe cried hard for what seemed like 30 minutes. Girly ofcourse got right next to Zoe and kept licking her leg to make things better. It was an emotional decision, but since we want our child to be able to breath normally and not be scratching constantly, it was a no-brainer. As soon as Max calmed down he began his own Art therapy, drawing pictures of Girly and making a sign that said,”A dog I love…1 dog”. So sweet yet so sad. It really seemed to help. We’ll still have her for another week while our friends are out of town, then we’ll drop her off at their house. My kids will still see Girly when we swap babysitting with this family. I hope that’s a good thing.

God, I hope Pete outgrows this so we can get another dog someday. If that happens, please bless our family with another dog like Girly. sniff-sniff!

I’m off to worship team rehearsal. Blessings to you all!

“My inadequacies aren’t all there is to me. Within me there resides God’s very nature of love, compassion, boldness, and wisdom and this actually more central to who I am than any of my shortcomings.” (Thanks Dwight Edwards.)

I ganked (a Benny word) that off my friend Paula’s blog. It’s a great thought and one I’ve needed to hear. Paula is my writer friend and working hard to meet a deadline on her latest book. WHEN (not if) it is published I’ll be shouting hoorays from the rooftops. Which isn’t that high in my neighborhood of mobile homes, but you know what I mean. She’s an amazing woman!

The kids were playing a spitting game today -unbeknownst to me- with their milk. Pete is now soaking in a warm bath with hives all over his body, swollen red eyes, and yucky white stringy stuff coming out of the corners of his eyes. Thank God for the person who invented Benadryl – of which I have an ample supply on hand at all times and probably should get a gig as their spokesperson. Here’s the thing – he didn’t even drink any of the milk. He was drinking Rice milk and his sister (the culprit) was drinking regular cows milk. He had that reaction just from getting cows milk all over his skin! AAAAAGH! He’s been doing so well for a long time. We have desensitzed him to almost all of his offending allergens, but for some reason he still can’t have milk or nuts. In comparison to the long list of foods he couldn’t have just a year ago, that’s not bad I guess.

I just got a call from my BSF leader from last year and found out she’s my leader again this year, AND about half the ladies from my group are going to be in it again. I’m so glad! It took me all year, but by the end, I finally felt like God had wisely placed me in the group. For those of you who don’t remember or weren’t visiting MY Journey back then, I struggled through the whole year of BSF last year. My answers were often completely different than those of the rest of the ladies and I felt like an oddball most of the time. When I finally admitted that to some of the ladies, I was met with surprise and reassurance that I was indeed an asset to the group and that I was the one who challenged the others to think outside of their own religious boxes. One lady even told me that there was something missing on the days that I wasn’t there. I cried. O.k., so that doesn’t take much. Looking back now I see satan’s hand in the whole process and Jesus – though he didn’t remove the hard times and doubts I had – he walked along beside me holding my hand the whole way. I’m looking forward to studying ROMANS this year!!! I’m sure I’ll have a lot to share from that study.

If you aren’t familiar with BSF, check out their website at www.bsfinternational.org Bible Study Fellowship is an international Bible study. People all over the world are doing the same lesson every week. Isn’t that a cool thought? There are women’s day classes, men’s evening classes, young adults classes, and a great children’s program for ages 2-12th grade. This may be the first year that my entire family will be doing BSF together. Zoe, Pete and I will be in a day class, and Benny is thinking about going to the men’s evening class where Max can be part of the school age children’s program. It’s one day a week and runs during the school year. I have friends in 3 different states that are all in this study and it’s fun to discuss and compare notes.

Our good friend Chris Robey is here from Texas staying with us a few days. Benny took him downtown for a turf tour and then they’re going to hang out with the street kids at the feeding at the park. Our poolhall is still closed for remodeling. I hope it reopens soon! 😦 Chris is one of our youth ministry friends and a really great guy. He is also a blogging friend so go check out his blog!

I was sitting with my friends yesterday at my Captivating study and I felt overwhelmingly loved and cherished, blessed and special. This group of women is just incredible! We are so very different in looks, personalities, careers, and even some philosophies. But we share the same heart. Paula is a mom of 4 (ages 9 – 15) and a writer/teacher/homeschooler. She is the one mentioned above. Abi is a mom of 2 (ages 1 & 2) and a marathon runner/soon to be Bradley Method Trainer, Kristi is a mom of 2 (ages 4 & 6) and a teacher/writer – she and her husband traveled through Europe with a theater company, Wendy is a mom of 5 (ages 2-13) and a teacher/homeschooler – she just returned from a 2 week mission trip to India, and then there is me – a mom of 3 and a homeschooler/soon to be speaker. We are all so much more than I can squeeze into this post! I mention them because I am thankful that everytime we’ve moved to a new place, God has answered my prayers for women I can be REAL with. Thank You God for such a wonderful gift!

Who are the people in your life that you can truly be yourself with?

I’m starting to see a correlation here between PMS and feelings of nostalgia. It’s sometimes painful, lasts for days, and in my case often happens simultaneously. I don’t mean to offend. I’m just speaking some truth here. I’ve been in touch lately with several girls I have mentored through the years. One is a mommy of three now and doing well – she started out a pregnant teenager in our youth group, Benny performed her wedding when many thought it was a mistake. It’s strange swapping mommy stories with her now but I love it. One is beginning college at ACU this week and I couldn’t be more proud of the young woman that she is. She is a world changer! One is searching out who she is and what she is meant to do – she has amazing possibilities opening up before her and boy is she overflowing with talent and charisma! Here’s the painful part…One is suicidal and I can’t seem to reach her. It’s been several months now since we’ve spoken. I don’t know how to help her from 5 states away and she doesn’t seem to be turning to me anymore. I pray there is someone else in her life that will love her and value her and show her how beautiful she is – though she won’t believe them. Pray for her and for me that I will do what I can, then carefully leave her in God’s hands. One is recovering from a very serious car accident and you’ve been praying for her. Thank you!

There’s another correlation on my mind as well. I’ve been visiting the blogs of some of my favorite speakers, preachers, and writers. All of them at one time or another, and in some cases- all the time, feel inadequate, feel fear, and some even have physical symptoms when they speak. These people were called by God to speak to the masses through sermons, seminars, and books, yet they suffer through it. So I’m not alone.

I received the flyer advertising my speaking engagement in OKC next month. I saw my picture on this professional looking flyer and burst into tears. I was completely overwhelmed and had to call a friend to calm me down. Talking is how I work through things and it was amazing to hear the exact same word come out of two different friend’s mouths when I know they don’t even know each other…AND they both said outloud, “Is this from you God?” before they told me what they were thinking. God is so good. Let me explain…

Those of you that have been here awhile have heard me say many times that I know I have the deep need to be heard. I used to cry out to God as a kid, teenager, and even many times as an adult that nobody listens to me. I told him that if He ever gave me a message to share (besides the obvious one about Jesus, duh!) that I would share it – if only people would listen. Really I share it whether or not people listen, but that’s o.k. too. It’s probably more truthful to say that I begged him for a message to share. I have been doing just that through the women he has placed in my life and through the girls he’s placed in my path to love on and mentor. Well, God has been shaking me up, molding and shaping me to do this on a bigger scale…preparing me for this very moment and now that it’s here, I’m scared to death! Will my fear stop me? Ofcourse not! But satan sure is enjoying trying to tie me into knots…whispering to me that I’m not worthy of being asked to speak, that who am I to speak on beauty, and many other little nasty lies I’m fighting off. I’m not fishing for compliments here, o.k.? I’m trying to share my heart as openly and honestly as I can to help me defeat and deflate the enemy and the hold he aims to have on me.

I have repeatedly emailed friends requesting prayers for this, and a small part of me wants these women I’m going to speak to to think that I’m a professional and totally amazing without a fear in the world. So much for being REAL huh? The naked truth is that I’m only worthy because God has put it on my heart and in my path to do this. He has been wooing me and showing me my true beauty for the past year, and I’m falling in love with Him in a way that I’ve longed for my whole life. He could choose a tall skinny blonde woman with a sweet southern drawl to speak the same words, but he chose me…5 foot seven, overweight, red-headed with a temper and a mouth to match. And I know I’m beautiful. That just sounds crazy.

Have you ever heard it said that it is not failure that we fear, but success? We don’t do ourselves or anyone else any favors when we try to dim our own lights so we won’t stick out among the crowd. I was made to stick out. I know it, God did it, and I’m trying to accept it. Even if I’m never asked to speak at a big function again, I know I have found my voice, and I know others are listening, and I know I’ll never stop speaking the message God has for me.

“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit – fruit that will last…” Matthew 15:16

Thank you all for your continued prayers for my friends, the Turner family. I received this email from Dean today:

Kathie and I are so appreciative of the prayers and support which have come to our children since their accident on August 7th. I thought I would take a moment to do an update about their current status.

Tana was discharged home on Thursday (8/17). The improvements she has gone through in the last week have been amazing. We are convinced the many prayers going up for her healing are the reason. Though she is still unable to do some things for herself due to her arm and collar bone, she is able to get up out of bed on her own and take short walks. Her face, too, has improved tremendously. Those who came to visit her a week ago are truly amazed (as are we) at her progress.

Brandon is no longer on the ventilator and was moved out of Neuro ICU late Friday (8/18) afternoon. He now has a Trach (which gives quick airway access in an emergency) and a feeding tube. They have also repaired his broken foot. To look at him, it is hard to imagine that there is anything seriously wrong with him. His brain injury is, of course, very serious. His doctors are very cautious in making any kind of definitive prognosis at this time. They do say that they expect him to wake up at some point, though, they don’t know when. As to what his condition will be at that time, we will just have to wait.

Kathie and I are thankful for the progress so far and give praise to God for his loving care. We continue to solicit your prayers on Brandon and Tana’s behalf. As their parents, we pray for healing. We have found that placing their care in God’s loving hands has been a great comfort to us.

Dean and Kathie Turner