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homeless bags(Updated 10/21/2015)

This picture has been floating around Facebook for a while now. It resurfaces every fall with the shift of the cooler weather. Whoever made this bag had good intentions and a generous heart, and there are many versions of these bags being handed out all across the country. Over the past 9 years of running a homeless ministry, we’ve learned a few things about the needs of our street friends. We know what’s practical and what isn’t, so I’d like to help you improve on these goodie bags.

We call our version of these, SEVENS Packs. Ours include our contact information, a bottle of water, assorted snacks, a pair of new socks, and when we’ve received enough through donations, a gift card for a fast food meal and/or a $10 gift card to a grocery store.

Here are some tips for making your own goodie bags, no matter where you live:

WHAT TO INCLUDE

If you don’t know what would be helpful to the people in your area, ask someone who does. The organizations who walk beside the homeless and hurting can tell you what the needs are, and what they have in surplus. This will save you time and money.

Toiletries

NEVER, EVER mix toiletries in with food items. The smell/taste of things like soap, deodorant, and toothpaste permeate everything else in the bag, and the food will not be edible. We once received a large donation of bags similar to this one and had to throw all of the food items away. Such a waste.

Bars of soap are cheap, but they’re bulky and messy. Baby wipes are a better option for a quick clean up. Any place our street friends can access a shower will have soap, shampoo, etc. for them to use. Any toiletries should be put in a separate bag, and we suggest freezer bags instead of storage bags because of the thicker plastic. Suggested items:

  • Baby wipes/wet wipes
  • Lip balm
  • Lotion
  • Sunscreen
  • toothbrush/toothpaste/dental floss (which doubles as sewing thread for mending clothing and backpacks)
  • Maxi pads (Mark the bag with a pink star or some way to tell at quick glance that it’s meant for a female.)

Snacks

In general, our street friends do not have access to dental care other than teeth extraction, so we try to stick with easy to chew snacks instead of crunchy ones, though a variety is nice. They trade what they don’t like for items they do.

  • Fruit /applesauce/pudding cups (with or without a plastic spoon)
  • Chewy granola bars (Cereal bars tend to get crushed into mush)
  • Fresh fruit
  • Assorted crackers or cookies
  • Fruit snacks
  • Beef Jerky (this is a favorite even though it’s hard to chew, and protein is good.)
  • Small bags of nuts or trail mix
  • Hard candy like peppermints or butterscotch
  • Bottled water

Misc. Gifts

It doesn’t have to be a holiday to give gifts. Some of the things on this list aren’t really gifts as much as possible needed items when you call the streets your home.

  • Travel coffee mugs from local gas stations that get them discounted coffee refills. Closed handles are best so they can hang from a backpack strap.
  • New socks – When you travel everywhere by foot, clean, dry socks are a must!
  • $5-$10 gift cards to nearby restaurants or grocery stores. This is a great option for those who aren’t comfortable giving out cash.
  • Wal-Mart/Target gift cards are great for needed items that are cheaper than a grocery store or aren’t available in one – feminine products, ibuprofen and other over-the-counter meds, shoes and replacement shoelaces, and underwear, to name a few.
  • Travel size first-aid kits

Winter Items

  • Hand warmers
  • Warm gloves (NOT the little knit ones that don’t keep anyone warm)
  • Beanies

 WHAT NOT TO INCLUDE

  • Used/worn out items. If you’re giving stuff with the attitude that the receiver needs to be grateful for whatever they get, perhaps you need to rethink your motives for giving in the first place.
  • Hotel shampoos & soaps (donate these to shelters that have shower access)
  • Religious Literature*

*A Note for my Christian Friends:

Homelessness does not equal Godlessness. PLEASE do not include religious literature. Your intentions are good, and your motivation sharing the love of Jesus, but don’t assume anything. Unless you have the time to build a relationship with someone, you don’t know what their story is and what role religion has played in it, both good and bad. Trust that God was on the streets long before you came into the picture, and faith conversations happen within the context of relationship. Trust me, they do happen.

ONE LAST THING

Presentation is important! Look people in the eye. Smile. Ask them their name then use it while talking with them. Offer your gift in love and without agenda. You’re giving hope and help to someone who is walking through a dark time in their life. That matters, and it tells them that they matter too.

Armed with my handful of black trash bags, I donned my scuba mask (the kind that covers your nose) and heavy-duty gloves, preparing for my trek to the man-child’s room. As I traversed the first mountain of dirty clothes, I regretted my decision not to pack a sandwich. I could be in here for hours! I heard a groan from across the room, then a large lump on the bed whined, “Do we have to do this today?”

“Be brave, Tris” I whispered.

He didn’t get my Divergent joke, or find the mask and gloves the least bit funny.

While almost none of this story is true, (the groaning and trash bags were real) Max was nervous but determined to clear out his stuff. And guess what? We did it!

We spent the morning distracted by friendly visitors, including a very sweet and cuddly 3-month-old named Lillian Grace. When everyone left, I explained my plan to my firstborn and we got to work. Together. That was the key. I could yell and scream at that kid for hours about cleaning up his room, shaming him for letting it get so out of hand, and threatening to take away his birthday, but I decided to try out the adage about catching flies with honey instead of vinegar.

Before we began, I made a list of questions for us to ask as we deliberated over the harder choices of what to part with:

Purging QuestionsWe started at the doorway and chatted while we worked side by side, sorting clothing, shoes, papers, books, trash, and projects.

Oh. My. Word. Max loves projects. He’s a creative spirit and his hands are always moving, shaping, cutting, crafting, carving, and duct-taping. And his room tells the tale. His work table alone qualifies for hoarding status.Well, it did. Now it’s a sleek work space.

All of my children are sentimental, so I wondered if this purging quest would challenge them to tears. I was a bit surprised as I watched Max toss things in the trash I was sure he’d have a reason for keeping. I was prepared to talk him through it, but he was doing fine on his own, so I kept my mouth SHUT! In the case of decluttering, more is better, and there was no way I was slowing that process down.

I didn’t ask him why he kept every scrap of paper his girlfriend has ever given him, or why he needs a dozen green lantern rings, but I was truly puzzled why he had four shoes with no mates. Seriously? Four? How does that even happen?

At the end of the day we had cleared out three large bags of trash, donated over half of his stuff to the thrift store down the street, and discovered he does in fact have carpet in his room.

What did we learn from this hours-long process?

  1. It’s not about organizing your stuff, it’s about getting rid of stuff so you have less to organize.
  2. Stuff quickly becomes junk when left on the floor to get stepped on.
  3. Teenage boys can reach a breaking point with their clutter and beg to just bag everything up and start over.
  4. It’s possible to have too many pillows and blankets, and pens. The boy has almost as many pens as I do!
  5. He slept better in his clean space last night, and I slept better knowing we’re almost half way done! We didn’t work on the house today, but tomorrow is all about Zoe’s room, the bathrooms, and hall closets.

I almost forgot! Not only did a friend stop by with Chai, Benny and Zoe purged the kitchen and dining room for me!

How about you? Are you inspired to purge your own house yet? Are you ready to embrace simple minimalism? What is the strangest thing you’ve decluttered? Does it beat four mismatched shoes?

It’s happening AGAIN. I’m finding myself fuming and pouting because I am picking up my family’s crap AGAIN. We have too much stuff AGAIN. I spent most of 2011 working through and posting about my decluttering challenge. Click on the links to read how I did it:

It’s only been four years since I learned (and taught) about decluttering and minimalism. It’s only been one year since we decluttered to move to our current home. It’s not like I’ve forgotten how to do it, so maybe I needed new inspiration to do it again. Don’t we all need that now and then?

Enter my friend, Penelope Hoyt.

She’s written several books on the topic as well as homemaking, homeschooling, organizing and prepping. I started with her book, The Simple Minimalist, and I’m still working my way through her stuff. She has lots of great tips including defining minimalism for yourself (Hint: It looks a little different for each person) and pursuing a simple, peaceful lifestyle free from emotional and mentally draining clutter. She encouraged me by reminding me WHY I want to live simply – so I have more time, energy, and resources to live life with the people I love.

Sadly, she lives too far away to grab a cup of Chai and pick her brain, so I spent last week reading several of her books. If you subscribe to Kindle Unlimited, you can read most of them for free, but her prices are amazing even without KU. Here’s a partial list of the books I read:

Minimalism Made Easy: What It Really Takes to Live with Less It was a nice surprise when I discovered I already had this on my Kindle before we even met. 😉

Going Green: 25 Recipes to Save Your House and Your Life

Natural Living

Downsizing Made Easy: How to Simplify Your House for a Quicker Sale

101 Things to Teach Your Kids This Year

Her Minimalist Hacks series was great too. I decided to stop reading for now and start minimizing! When I thanked her for inspiring me, she responded by giving me a few tips. The most important one is this: Buy big black trash bags. You are more likely to get rid of things when you’re not staring at them, possibly having second thoughts.

I read and got inspired again. I formed a plan. I talked to my family and they all jumped on board the crazy purging train I’m conducting. Woot! Woot! This is Nowell Purging Week, and today was Day 1. Benny posted this on Facebook today:

purge

Hey! I needed a staging area.This is what happens when you have kids hauling everything up and down stairs. They dump it wherever. Hmmm…seems to me that’s what got us into this mess. Bringing too much stuff into our home contributed as well, I suppose. It’s okay. We’re punching the reset button.

Here’s my basic plan of attack:

Monday: Pete’s room and our bookshelves. DONE and DONE!

  • 7 boxes of homeschooling curriculum (not mine, I was storing them)
  • 7 boxes of books – mostly mine
  • 3 bags of stuffed animals, clothes, and shoes (plus a few GIANT stuffed animals)
  • 2 bags of misc. toys and stuff
  • 1 big bag of trash

Tuesday: Max’s room. Dear God, please help me control my tongue and attitude, and have someone bring me Chai.

Wednesday: After I get home from work – The bathrooms and hall closets.

Thursday: Zoe’s room and the living room/dining room. She’s been cleaning, so it will be easier than riding herd on helping the boys.

Friday: The kitchen and the laundry room.

Saturday: Finish up our bedroom, which is where I began before officially starting this purge.

Sunday: A much-needed day of rest! 😉

I’ll let you know how the week goes by updating this post with how much stuff we haul away.

I’ll be back with more thoughts on this and how we can avoid a repeat of this process next year, but in the meantime, visit Penelope at her blog, The Nerdy Survivalist, buy her books on Amazon, then go declutter something!

You can do it!

42clusterIt’s the eve of my 43rd birthday. Let’s pretend it’s Christmas in July – that’s the only other time I feel like I have to sit and reflect on a whole year all at once. And please, feel free to drop off presents under our evergreen tree in the front yard! 😉

As I was reading through my journal (aka my Facebook timeline) for the past year, the big highlights were mostly sad. I suffered some devastating losses of friends and family, a good friend went to prison for two years, my transgender cousin’s suicide made international news, a doctor friend was made famous by contracting Ebola, and my relationship with my mother came to a painful end. That last one was not on Facebook as it is still too raw.

Amidst such a long grieving period were many moments of victory, bravery, and beauty. We moved to a town we’ve wanted to live in for years. I taught my first drama class and not only did I love it, it was a huge success. I made two trips back to Wisconsin to visit my family and reconnected with two of my best friends from high school while I was there. I worked on my novel. I fed hundreds of people through the little food bank I run. We reinstated Niki Day and Benny Day into our family schedule. I went to lots of movies and read a lot of books. I nourished old friendships and formed several new ones. I began passionately pursuing my husband again.

In times of reflection, I can’t focus on the bad without the good. I made some really dumb mistakes this past year, but I’ve also had my moments of wisdom and clarity. I’m learning I’m better for both. Through a year of deep suffering, I’ve clung to my joy.

I know who I want to be, but better than that, I know who I am.

In his book, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, English writer and humorist Douglas Adams said 42 is the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything. I’m still laughingly pondering that, but hoping for better questions and answers when I’m 43. Adams also said, “I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I’ve ended up where I needed to be.”

Now THAT is the story of my year!

I wrote this “end of the year letter” back in December. Yep. This is my life. I found this filed away in my notes on my iPad. It had its funny moments, so I thought I’d share it with you anyway. Besides, I need to chronicle these life moments, yeah?

Buy this shirt on woot.com!

Buy this shirt on woot.com!

YMCA…the song, not the place. Wafts of pizza, nachos, and cotton candy tickling my nose. A hundred or so small children rotating counter-clockwise, tiny skates on each foot, some clinging to the wall with an “Oh crap” look plastered on their faces. The poor things are eying the rink like it’s covered in banana peels.

Today is Pete’s 11th birthday and we’re spending a few hours at Skate City before ending the sleepover party of all parties. FIVE extra kids spent the night, but it was quieter than you might think. We have an X-box and a really nice TV. I didn’t hear a peep except for the occasional cheer floating up the stairs from the basement, and the raucous cry for more popcorn.

Being able to zone out and write at a skating rink is a testament to my 15 years as a mother and 40-ish years as a reader. It’s a gift. I would have preferred an extra arm or two, but you gotta be thankful for what you have, right?

With all of the recent tragedies in our life I thought it would be a good exercise for me to look over the past year through eyes of gratitude, and who better to share it with than the people we are most grateful for?

2014 was a crazy year for us as a family. That seems to be our pattern, so same story, different year. I won’t bog you down with all the minutiae, but let’s just say we’re now referring to the first half of the year as “before” and everything since as “heaven.” Okay, I’m exaggerating a teensy bit. Our year was split in half by our move away from the hood in Denver to lovely, safe, small-town Lafayette. Our parents were thrilled! We found a townhouse five minutes from our jobs, 12 minutes from church, and 13 minutes from Boulder. The daily commutes are over! YAY!

(Insert limbo music here) I guess I’m a little easier to distract than I thought. Can I just say it’s really nice not to be out there holding someone’s hand, waiting for them to pull me down as soon as they can’t maneuver past a dog pile on the rink? If you’re still in that stage, let me sprinkle some hope on you:

Someday you’ll be able to be a sideline mom too.

We’re also known as the keeper of the drinks. Here’s a tip for you: Always bring a Sharpie. No, I’m not a germaphobe, but a lot of my mommy friends are. It also saves time when the kiddos come flying off the rink, chests heaving, sweaty palms extended towards their Dr. Peppers. Oh! And keep your feet tucked under you to escape the toe-crushing wheels of the uncoordinated. I’ve learned my lesson.

Yesterday was celebration Sunday at church. We focused on all the amazing things God has done in us and through us as a church family this year. I got to report that SEVENS served over 4,800 meals and distributed more than 15 tons of food through our SEVENS food bank this year. I don’t have numbers for how many pairs of socks and hand warmers we handed out, or how many cups of Starbucks we shared with our street friends in Boulder. Those things are hard to track when you don’t care about tracking them.

What I can tell you is it feels good to know that people were warmer, less hungry, and a lot less lonely because we hold ground there. Ministry-wise, we are keeping on keeping on. We are clinging to our dream of having a mobile outreach center/mobile showers and laundry facilities. It will happen. Someday.

Pete just skated up to me with a grin on his face. “Mom! They’re playing our song!” We have a song? I begin the process of tuning out the background noises until I can narrow down the tune. Apparently, Radioactive by Imagine Dragons is our song. I love that kid. He makes me smile. 😉

Where was I? Oh yeah, Mobile Outreach Center. Benny has been talking it up and we have some locals getting excited with us. We know we’ll have lots of opposition as well. A lot of the Boulderites would prefer we not help the homeless unless it’s to help them be less visible.

That’s as far as I got. The end.

Except it wasn’t. Our story continues. Things got worse before they got better. I’m actually still waiting for things to get better. Sure, I’ve had some wonderful people and things enter my life in the six months since I wrote this, but if I’m honest – and I always try to be – things still kind of suck. Never fear, I have a death grip on my gratitude. I recite at least one thing a day even if it’s just to myself. Things will get better. See? That’s my one thing for today. 😉

Doogie HowserRemember Doogie Howser? The world’s first blogger? Yeah, I used to admire how he could sum up an hour of drama in a few witty sentences. (Hats off to the writers.) I’m still working on that. Ha! I’ll settle for posting things in the same year as they’re written. And friend, if you don’t know who Doogie Howser is, you may be too young to read this blog. 😉

What have you left unsaid? Unwritten? It’s not too late!