Sometimes I Write

I have to admit I loved teasing you about today’s big announcement. It may or may not even effect you at all. It’s something I’ve been thinking about for awhile now. Different circumstances in my own life and the lives of a few of my friends are what made me finally decide to just do it. So here it is…I’ve given birth…to a new blog.

SUPERMOM is a blog for my mommy friends. There have been so many times that I’ve begun posts about silly things, sometimes even annoying things, my kids have done, then thought about all of my guy friends, or my friends without children, and thought to myself, “only your mommy friends care about hearing stories like that”, or “some things are only funny to those who have been there too”. Not that I’m going to stop sharing my family stories on MY Journey.

I know that one of my spiritual gifts is encouragement and I feel (and have always felt) God calling me to be an encouragement to other mothers. I loved being involved with MOPS and some of the other moms groups over the years. The idea for my ministry of encouragement was born at the HEARTS AT HOME convention in Normal/Bloomington, Illinois. I have all of these friends who are just starting to have babies, and several that have children about the ages of mine. We have struggles that are unique to parenting little ones and sometimes we feel invisible to the world around us. There are days that a kind word, a thoughtful gesture, and many arrow prayers are all that get us through until bedtime.

Up until we moved to Colorado I effectively “ran” my encouragement ministry over the phone and through the occasional card or note. I had unlimited long distance on my home phone so it was no problem to walk around my house with my headset on and talk to my friends around the country while I did laundry, dishes, whatever needed to be done. I was careful (most of the time) to schedule my calling around the kids schedule and around the needs of whichever friend I was focusing on that day. I didn’t have a computer so phone was my best option. Now I have a computer and NO long distance on my home phone. I have lots of minutes on my cell phone, but I share them with Benny, so I have to be careful.

I fell in love with blogging back in November. That was about a month after we got our computer. I’m hooked! I’ve said many times that it’s very therapeutic for me. I don’t just mean me getting my feelings and thoughts out. I’ve been so encouraged by reading the blogs of my friends, some old friends, some new to me through blogging. I’ve learned so much in this short time, but the one truth that has been reinforced to me over and over again (and it’s the one I most needed to hear) was that I am not alone. Mothering small children can feel very isolating, whether you’re at home during the day with them or you’re at home with them after working at a job. The purpose of SUPERMOM is to encourage other mothers by sharing ideas, quotes, and stories, and by inviting other mothers to share their stuff as well. I think I can handle both blogs now that I’m beginning to FLY again. To make things easier on myself I kept the same template since I already know how to play with the html code to add and change things in the sidebar. So click on over to SUPERMOM and check her out. If you’ll notice the URL, it speaks volumes…We are heroes!

I can’t believe I’ve posted one hundred entries since November. Since I don’t post every day, I thought it would take me longer than this to reach 100. What is the significance of this? I have no idea – there isn’t anything special about it. I just needed a reason to celebrate today :). It turns out I have two reasons! (later)

Back in February I went back to the beginning of my blog and started to print each entry so I could save them in a binder. I got as far as Feb.10th and stopped. I probably ran out of ink or something like that. It’s encouraging to me to glance back and see how far we’ve come in less than a year’s time and also see how God has provided and answered our prayers. Well, I’m going to finish printing them off and that’s driving Benny crazy! His type wants to save everything electronically and not waste paper, have to store the printed material somewhere, blah blah blah! I want to be able to sit anywhere in the house and reread my journey of faith and life while sipping hot chai. Our computer is in the guest bedroom /office, and I wouldn’t sip anything anywhere near it because I have a tendency to drip. Besides, it’s like holding a good book in my hands. I want to feel the smooth paper as I turn the pages. I want to smell the ink. I want to be able to hand it to a friend and say, “Here’s a piece of my life”. There’s also the little issue of the 3.5 disks I still have with info on them that I can’t retrieve because our computer doesn’t have the appropriate drive on it. I know you can purchase that stuff, but realistically we aren’t going to spend our money on it for just a few disks. I need to find a friend with an older computer so I can transfer my data to CD-rom. Ahhh technology! 😦

Now for the 2nd reason to celebrate. Benny is in the office today for the first time, and he’s pumped. We were talking this morning before he left and he said, “I need a laptop”. WHAT??? We can’t afford a laptop! M-W mornings are spent in the office where everyone has their laptops (wireless internet) and works on their individual business stuff like follow up with support teams, DB business, training, communications, preparing for Bible studies, etc. (I guess the street kids aren’t out until around lunch.) So Benny springs this on me and I’m thinking, o.k. we’ll save up over the next couple of months and get him a laptop. We don’t have all the money right now. Maybe we could send out an email to our support team and see if any of them have a laptop they aren’t using anymore. It could happen. He called me when he got to the office and it just so happens that a generous lady in San Antonio sent a one-time gift: a check for $1,000.00. PRAISE GOD! So Benny and Matt are going laptop shopping next week.

Once again I am reminded that God knows our needs and our wants. We don’t always get them, but sometimes we do. I hope I am as grateful towards God during the times we don’t get what we want as I am now that He provided the money for this needed equipment through this sister in TX. God has provided what we need to be here in Denver this year and train with/work with this awesome ministry. He provided through people like you praying for us and people in 8 different states pledging monthly financial support through next August. Amazing! I can’t even think of the words to say when “Thank You” doesn’t quite convey how I feel.

What a great day! I also have a big announcement to make tomorrow…you’ll have to wait until then…I’m not going to tell you what it is right now…I know – I’m a tease! Quit guessing so hard. You may not even think it’s a big deal. Then again, you might! 🙂 Until tomorrow then.

This weekend I was priviledged to go to my first Women of Faith conference. Me, and 16,ooo other women gathered at the Pepsi Center in downtown Denver to celebrate our faith, and be encouraged by wonderful speakers, comedians, and musical artists. I have never in my life seen so much pink, purple and lime green in one room. There were women there of every nationality, shape and size. What a creative God we serve to make us all so different and yet knit our hearts together from the same material. I came away from the weekend feeling dearly loved by God, wonderfully blessed by the presenters, and depressed that I couldn’t buy all of the stuff they were selling. 🙂 Boy, there was definitely money to be made by all of the books, CD’s, DVD’s, t-shirts, tiara’s, mugs, etc. that were for sale not only for the conference, but for each of the presenters as well. I have self-control issues when it comes to buying cute tote bags and books to fill them, so it was a good thing we’re still a week or so away from payday. I enjoyed my $4.00 Pepsi and settled in the thought that if it’s a must-have (and I know it’s not), they have a web-site to shop from, and I have a Pastor Perks card for Family Christian Stores. It was not a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to buy, buy, buy.

I loved listening to these six unforgettable women whose words reminded me all over again that we are ordinary people who have faith in an extraordinary God. They were dynamic speakers and performers. Hats off to Luci Swindoll, Marilyn Meberg, Thelma Wells, Nicole Johnson, Patsy Clairmont, and Sheila Walsh and special guests Jennifer Rothschild, Avalon, Nichole Nordeman, and the WOF Worship Team. You all were just awesome!

As I said, I got to see/hear Avalon and Nichole Nordeman in concert. Both were fantastic, but Nichole was the highlight for me. Her music and lyrics speak to my soul in a way that few others have been able to. I truly believe that she is one of the ways God has blessed me and spoken to me over the past six years. If you are unfamiliar with her musical genius, you’re missing out. If you have a MARDEL’S store anywhere near you, she is the artist of the month for August and all of her 4 CD’s are on sale for $9.99 each. Or visit her website at http://nicholenordeman.com

After all of that, I want to talk about an ongoing discussion my friend Jennifer and I are having about the Christian community. WE (me included) are our own sub-culture. We have our own bookstores, coffee shops, bumper stickers, radio stations, day care centers, dry cleaners, and t-shirts. The list goes on, but you get my point. This was all very obvious to me at the conference. We even have our own language which is politely referred to as Christianese. Now, some of these things aren’t bad in and of themselves. The problem arises when we have our own everything and don’t touch or get touched by the world around us. My initial argument was that I want my money, wherever it’s going, to further the kingdom of God, so why not support Christian based businesses? But now I’m thinking about what makes a business Christian-based. A fish symbol as their logo? How about being closed on Sundays so all of their workers can attend church services and spend time with their families? Or is it if the business is owned by people who proclaim Christ in their lives? Jennifer and I have both worked for “Christian” bosses that had very ungodly business practices, and treated their employees, and sometimes their patrons, like crap! So how do I decide where to spend my money? If I need car repairs done, I want an honest mechanic. How will I know if he’s a believer or not? I just want an HONEST guy who is mechanically gifted to fix my van. What about groceries? Walmart doesn’t have any Christian symbols in their logo, but that’s where I shop because it’s affordable and it’s one stop shopping for this busy mother of three. I guess whether or not it’s a Christian based business is a little irrelevant in some cases. No matter where I shop, I have the opportunity to share Jesus with others. Not just carrying my Bible around so everyone can see how spiritual I am, but talking and laughing with the check out ladies at Walmart, and smiling at the greeters and thanking them when they hand me my cart. Being polite to everyone I meet regardless of my mood or theirs. That’s really a challenge!

This discussion comes up during training with Dry Bones. We don’t wear WWJD bracelets and t-shirts on the streets. We don’t need one more visible thing that separates us from the street kids. It’s a barrier. We know we are different and should be acting like we are different, but not alienating them. We are to be IN the world, but not LIKE the world. Boy that’s open to interpretation huh? Are we in the world if we only deal with Christian people? Are we like the world if we dress like them? I remember talking with a kid that was in our youth group several years ago. He was not allowed to listen to Christian music, mainly Christian Pop/Rock because it sounds just like the “worldly” music and how would anyone who heard him listening to it know that difference. The assumption here was that he would be viewed as worldly and that would be bad. I remember fighting the urge to grab his parents by the neck and have a little chat about what they teach their kids. Afterall, I listened to all kinds of music, did that make me worldly? If I was so worldly, why would they let their kids be in our youth group? I guess I tend to get a little defensive, could you tell? 🙂 lol

So what is being “worldly”? My husband is tall, bald, wears a lot of black, has an 8″ long goatee and a tattoo. He loves the Lord and I’d say he’s a pretty spiritual guy. Some would SEE him and dismiss him as worldy. One of my friends, who will remain nameless to protect the innocent (me), is tall, cleancut, hardworking, responsible and provides for his family, but is not a believer. Is he worldly? It’s a hard word to define. Does it come down to what we value? My friend Webster defines worldly as “Of, pertaining to, or devoted to the temporal world; not spiritual or religious; secular.”

What about politics? I’ve been involved in this long debate on my friend Sarah’s blog. I’ve been criticized for some things I said regarding the possibility of a female president in the white house in response to Sarah’s post. It took on a whole new tone for me when a fellow believer (I assume she is because she went to a Christian college) said something about politics having nothing to do with morals. Boy do I take issue with that! I don’t believe we get to separate from our morals when making any decisions, political or otherwise. I pointed out to her that we are Christians before we are Americans and while we are Americans. Republican does not translate religious fanatic just as Democrat does not translate liberal heathen. How does the word “worldly” play into this debate? I must admit I was tempted to act very “worldy” and be nasty in my response, and sometimes when I don’t think before responding I am nasty. I want it to be second nature that I’ll respond in a loving manner and be thought-provoking instead of wrath-inviting.

Where’s the line? How can I best be a Christian woman in a fallen world, fit in well enough to have a positive influence, yet remain not of the world? How can I look enough like the world that they give me a chance, yet look different enough from the world that they see something they want or need? How can I touch the world as God made me to touch it without getting it on me? lol How can I touch the world without getting Jesus on them? So many questions…

Hot under the collar that is. So Benny decided to put this picture of me into my blog profile because it’s one of his favorites. You can’t tell very well, but my eyes match my sweater and he loves that my hair is longer. (He won’t give up that dream) LOL I like it, but it’s a year old and my hair is now short, brighter red, and curly most of the time. I don’t think the picture to the right is a true representation of me now. (I know, I can be really anal about things sometimes.) I’d much prefer to post a picture of say…Julianne Moore instead of myself. Afterall, she has red hair, but she’s thinner, she’s taller, has more money, uh-oh I’m beginning to ramble. The picture was just the beginning of the fun-filled night I like to call “Computer dates gone wild and wrong”.

Since Benny officially became a blogger (and now admits it) we’ve been playing around with his blog, adding stuff like links, reading lists, sitemeter, etc. We have also been dabbling in basic html to cut and paste codes into the template. I got the bright idea to see what my blog would look like with a different template, so we copied my template and pasted it into a word document in case we had any trouble, all my codes and add-ons would not be lost forever. That was about the only smart thing we did all night! We found a template I liked and Benny said it was more “me”, and got to work trying to add html code. NOTHING we tried worked like we wanted it to. The spacing was off, stuff wasn’t appearing in the right places, we were caught in this game of having to get it right, sometimes being frustrated and sometimes laughing at ourselves for being html illiterate. (My Yoda is on vacation this week!) After two whole hours of this, we gave up and went back to our original templates and pasted everything back in. LOL I guess that’s why Blogger has ready made templates for us to choose from, duh! Two hours of time wasted trying to be as smart as the computer programmer/template designer when we could have been doing a million other bonding things.

Normal couples have normal dates like going to the movies…oh yeah, that requires a babysitter and money and we are short on both at the moment. I guess we’ll stick to the gifts God gave us, accept our limits, and keep blogging about our boring dates. haha They aren’t all boring, just lastnight was. As a matter of fact this post is boring. I can’t believe I’m actually going to post it anyway. I can’t believe you read it and you’re still awake. Please come back tomorrow and I’ll post something more exciting for you.

Because of Benny’s Texas roadtrip, the people who have pledged support, and those who have already been part of our support team, it looks like we have reached our financial support raising goal! God is so amazing! This has been a long hard road so far, but things have sort of fallen into place anyway. We have had many discouragers and cheerleaders along the way, so I am so excited to be able to tell everyone that we did it! God did it! We are so blessed.

We have learned so much about depending on God for everything. We know the difference between what we want and what we need, and have experienced both. We have good friends who have believed in us and spurred us on during the moments we questioned our calling. We have even been blessed through the people who thought we were crazy to do this, worried about us, or told us there’s no way we could raise the amount we wanted to. You see we took the leap of faith God called us to take and He has blessed us over and over again. It hasn’t just been OUR faith growing, but the faith of everyone around us as they watch the support being pledged and start to come in from around the country. They have watched our prayers being answered. We have so many new partners in our ministry that I am overwhelmed with joy and honestly, relief.

Our financial prayers are being answered by God through so many of you, but my prayer requests will not stop. Satan knows what he’s doing and some of my thoughts yesterday were, “Well, we’re going to be taken care of for the next year, but come next Fall we have to do this all over again”, and “What if someone changes their mind and decides to pull their support?”, and “What if we have an emergency? Will we have enough?”. Can you believe my nerve? Why on earth would God move us here to learn how to start this ministry, take care of all the details for us BEFORE our official start date, then when it came time to fly on our own, drop us on our faces? Why would he provide for our basic needs and leave us alone during an emergency? Where’s my faith? Who am I putting my trust in? The people sending money, or the one who REALLY owns it all? So I ask for forgiveness and echo the plight in Mark 9:

Jesus is asked to heal a boy possessed by demons. The disciples have tried to cast the demons out, but have failed. Jesus asks the father of the boy how long this has been happening and the father gives him the details then ends with,

“Have mercy on us and help us. Do something if you can.” “What do you mean, ‘if I can’?” Jesus asked. “Anything is possible if a person believes.” The father instantly replied, “I do believe, but help me not to doubt!” (NLT)

The story ends with the disciples questioning Jesus about their failure at casting out demons. Jesus tells them that this kind of evil spirit can be cast out only by prayer.

So I ask you to join me in thanksgiving for God providing what we need, and ask for your continued prayers for our ministry and specifically for strength and faith on the days I believe, but doubt. I’m grateful for your presence in my life, and your shared faith. I am humbled by what God has done in my life in the short time I’ve been blogging, and thankful for the opportunity to share it with you! God Bless Us All!