Sometimes I Write

Wisdom

“The church gets into trouble whenever it thinks its in the church business rather than the kingdom business. In church business, people are concerned with church business and religious behavior. In the kingdom, people are concerned with kingdom activities – all human behavior visible and invisible. Kingdom people see human affairs as saturated with spiritual meaning and kingdom significance. Kingdom people seek first the kingdom of God and its justice. Church people often put concerns of church work above concerns of justice, mercy and truth.
Church people think about how to get people into the church. Kingdom people think about how to get the church into the world. Church people worry that the world might change the church. Kingdom people work to see that church changes the world. When Christians put the church ahead of the kingdom they settle for the status quo and their own kind of people, but when they catch a vision for the kingdom of God their sight shifts outside the walls of the church to the lost and the needy. They see the life and work of the church from the perspective of the Kingdom. If the church has one great need, it is this – to be set free for the Kingdom of God.”

(Howard Snyder, as printed from the weblog dyingchurch.com)

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This past weekend was my last girl’s retreat with our teen girls. This retreat is unique in that the girls do everything and my friend Danita and I were there to provide adult supervision. Every year the Junior/Senior girls put on this retreat for the younger girls. They plan the trip, buy the food, prepare it, clean up, do the lessons and plan the games. Then they pass the torch to the next group of planners for the following year. They invite 2 or 3 women to be chaperones and drive the van. This was my third year and my last. It was my first without babies – a much needed break :). It was a fun weekend, and I enjoyed laughing, teasing and crying with my girls. On Saturday night we had a candlelight devotional and I was honored when they took turns telling me how much they loved me and how I had made a difference in their lives. We all cried…what do you expect with a room full of estrogen? I love these girls!

One of my biggest blessings came from Danita. This woman has loved on me since we moved here. She is always encouraging and welcoming. During the summer Max, Zoe and I would spend a few afernoons lazing around in the pool and she and I would talk while we each took charge of a child. Then Pete came along about the time Max decided to be fearless adventure boy! Thank God for those swimming suits with the built in floaties!!! She and I have talked about some really personal things and she’s one of the few people here I truly trust. She thanked me for sharing Zoe with her so she could get her girl fix because she has three boys. Zoe sits with her almost every Sunday and Danita always has a book, toys, and snacks for her. Her sons are in jr. high and high school, but they play with Max and give him the wrestling time he needs. Her oldest is away at college, but was part of our youth group when we moved here. We really miss him. Her husband is a good guy. We haven’t had the chance to get to know him as well as her because his job keeps him busy and travelling, but I love to watch him love on his boys. He’s one of those fathers that hugs and wrestles with his boys. You can see the love he has for them in his eyes. This family has really blessed my family! Anyway, Danita totally affirmed me. She loves us and supports us and is going to miss us. She was also part of the group that went to Denver last summer with Benny, so she has experienced Dry Bones first hand. Thank you again God for her friendship!

***side note – as I type this I’m listening to Nightline evening news. Guess what they’re talking about??? Blogging! They’re talking about the blogisphere, what it is, and who makes the rules. They are talking about mostly political blogs, but talking about the power bloggers have in general. Information is faster and cheaper than a newspaper or magazine, and blogging is beginning to change the face of media. Hmmm…and I just share my random thoughts. Am I changing any lives? Maybe not, but I feel pretty good about what I blog. I don’t usually touch on what’s going on in the world around me…just what’s close to home – my home. That’s the great thing about being a blogger. It’s my blog and I can write what I want to. If I get caught up in the comparison game, I’m a loser. Adam is more spiritually focused, Mike and Larry are more challenging, Laurie is more free speaking, and Sandy posts cool pictures. All of my blogging friends have different talents, jobs, thoughts, and goals. We are a part of a vibrant electronic community as the reporter put it tonight on Nightline. I’m still figuring out what I have to say. Stay tuned to see what happens next…you never know.

Back to my sentimental goo. There are more “lasts” coming in the next few weeks. Some of the saddest? My last BSF class with the ladies in my discussion group is the 16th. Our going away party is that same day. I’m going to Aunt Hattie’s for tea with some ladies from church. We had so much fun last time that I asked them to go again before we move. My last meal at Il Vicinos, my favorite restuarant in Wichita. I can think of more, but I won’t bore you. I had an epiphany about all of this. I don’t know how to say goodbye. I’m really bad at it. More on this later.

My eyes are falling asleep and the rest of my body is screaming to sink into the comfort of our King size, so I’ll sign off for tonight. Goodnight blogging friend. Thanks for stopping by to read my ramblings. Leave me a note and I’ll stop by yours sometime.

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Someone commented on my list that me being a lion and crying easily is a great contradiction. I took it as a compliment and they are right. I feel like a walking contradiction most days. I’m outgoing yet I like to be alone. I ‘ve got rythmn but I can’t dance. I’m brave enough to stand my ground, yet I still worry too much about what other people think. I am not normal. Why would anyone want to be “normal”? Why would I? I like being different. I say that, but then I think of all the ways I am the same as everyone else. I want to be just different enough to make people pause and think. I want to be honest. I want to be holy. I don’t want to be fake. I don’t want to be pious. I want people to read my blog, yet I really do write it for myself as a way to express myself. I don’t want to offend anyone with who I am or what I say, yet there are days I want to tell the world to piss off and mind their own business, and don’t judge me. I want to be real! I want to be relevant. I’ve said that a few times in the past few posts.

I know that I am a work in progress, and sometimes I feel like I am desperately trying to push my way out of a cocoon that someone else put me in. I have wings and I know they work, so why can’t I use them? I feel like my wings are bright enough to make some other works in progress a bit uneasy, yet I see people that have wings so bright that I take a step back and envy their brilliance instead of marveling at the colors God gave them and praising God for the uniqueness He gives each of us.

Laurie got her tongue pierced a few weeks ago. I don’t understand her fascination, but I think it’s kind of cool that she didn’t ask me what I thought first, and regardless of what I would have said she would have done it anyway. She is her own person and makes her own decisions. I think there are too many people out there who let others make decisions for them instead of seeking wisdom and deciding for themselves what they are going to think, feel, support, boycott, buy, wear, eat, spend, give, save, etc.

I dye my hair. I have been about 20 different shades of red or brown since 1990 when I began. I started getting a little gray when I was 18 and decided that it gave me permission to play with the color. I had people tell me my hair would dry up, fall out, frizz out, whatever. 14 years later I have a really cute and short cut that is curly and red and I love it. (My profile picture is 2 years old.) My hair is still thick and it was dry before I began coloring it…so it’s still on the dry side. That’s why there are products out there to help with that. My mom and other women I love very much prefer the natural look. Good for them. I prefer to stand out a bit more. Good for me. I’ve never had the guts to dye it a “weird” color like green, pink, or blue, although it was a nasty orange for a day about a year ago when I tried a new color. I had to wear a hat to WalMart to buy more color to fix it, so you see – I was still worried about what other people might think. I think I want to be different as long as I’m the one in control of whatever is different about me. I have control issues…hahaha.

I prefer jeans or khaki pants. I ALWAYS balked at people wanting me to wear a dress to church, or other more formal functions. I relied heavily on the verse that talks about man looking at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart. I’ll admit I’ve conceded a bit and I now own 2 dresses which I wear sparingly. 🙂 Like God cares what I wear to church. I don’t show cleavage (EVER! not just in church) or too much of the rest of my skin. I don’t wear dirty, ripped, or smelly clothes. If I did, I’d look just like one of the many people Jesus hung out with…the people that need Jesus. Hmmm… Where did we get the idea that we need to clean up before we come to Him? (that’s another rabbit trail we won’t travel down today.)

Laurie will reach different people for Christ than I will being pierced the way she is. I will reach different people with my bright hair and blue jeans than you will. It’s a good thing we all have our places, huh? I’m moving to a place where piercings and colored hair are a way of life. They are not unordinary in the least. Think about your perspectives. Why do you view things the way you do? Why are you drawn to some people while others make you extremely uncomfortable? Are you a walking contradiction too?

I don’t want to be what other people tell me I need to be. I want to be what God wants me to be, and we’re still talking about that. About the time I figure it all out, he’s going to take me home and give me a new body, my priorities will be drastically different, and I REALLY won’t care what the world thinks about what I say or do. It won’t be out of disrespect, I’ll just be so in tune with my Abba Popa that I will just be an extension of Him and His grace and mercy regardless of what others think, say or do. What do you think?

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Yesterday I was cruising through the usual blogs I read daily and I came across my blogging friend Jetty Betty. She had a list about her that I loved. She made the point that we know that everything is not about us, but maybe through the list we can get to know “us” better. So here’s my list. It’s not complete, but neither am I.

I love to sing.
I have 3 children ages 5, 2, and 1.
I am a stay-at-home mom.
I’m a homeschooler.
I love the color green.
My hair is red- actually it’s Russet Glow- Clairol 🙂
My eyes change colors depending on what I’m wearing,
not from contacts- they just do that.
When I cry my eyes turn bright green and my nose and cheeks turn bright red. It’s not pretty.
My husband is big, bald, and boisterous…I love him that way.
Some of my favorite things to do? Read, sing, talk on the phone…
I sound like a teenager!
I am a strong woman – not easily intimidated.
I met my husband at York College in Nebraska…He annoyed me.
We talked marriage on our 2nd date.
Everybody thought we were nuts! They were right!
Our 12th anniversary is this May. 🙂
As a child I took piano lessons…I was terrible.
I play the guitar.
I love chocolate.
I’m allergic to peanut butter.
My bestfriend is married to my brother.
I had a solo in my kindergarten musical…I can still sing it word for word.
I was a promiscuous teenager.
My criteria for a husband was :No facial hair, had to have a great singing voice, and be a northerner. I married a Texan who has more hair on his chin than the top of his head, and has many gifts…singing is not one of them. 🙂
I don’t like to cook – I married someone who does.
I’m a great baker.
I played the Timpani in the Alpine Orchestra in Colorado.
I love stamping, but don’t do it much.
I was born in California.
I grew up in Wisconsin. (Go Packers!)
My senior year of summer camp at WCYC I was voted Miss Fall Hall Glen.
I love batter fried cheese curds and beer brats.
I can’t tell jokes. I’m just not funny like that.
David Rio’s vanilla chai is my favorite drink.
My favorite movie is Sense and Sensibility.
I cry easily. (Think Hallmark commercials)
Every summer I spend a few weeks doing camps at OC.
I’ve been the Female head counselor for Zenith high school camp since it started 6 years ago.
I enjoy meetings where I am the only woman. (thanks Betty)
I am a business owner.
I am tired of church the way it is being done,
and I want to be an instrument of change.
I think God wants more from me as His child.
I have 4 half brothers, 1 half sister, and 1 stepbrother.
I am the 2nd oldest. My step brother Jason is exactly 1 year older.
I have 2 brothers in the military.
I have 6 nieces and nephews.
I have too many magazine subscriptions.
I wanted to be a Bible major in college.
I was a business major instead.
I played fast pitch softball.
My soccer career was short-lived.
I’m extremely nostalgic, but I love to dream about the future.
I like to debate.
I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
I once served breakfast to John Elway.
I played the mother in the opera Hansel & Gretel when I did summer theater.
I’m really good at organizing.
I’m really bad at staying organized.
I managed a restaurant where the owner took the money and skipped town.
I love going to the movies.
I’m an excellent bargain hunter and garage saler…
my mother-in-law taught me.
I have the best carrot cake recipe in the world.
I am debt free! 🙂
My Mom has MD. She’s a compassionate person.
My Dad has the sexiest voice of anyone I know.
I have the world’s greatest stepmom!
I plan to adopt from China and Africa.
I’ve had 3 c-sections…and huge babies
(smallest was 9 lbs. 10 oz. – biggest was 10 lbs. 1 oz.)
I saw Les Miserables on stage.
I want to see Stomp.
I am an Alias fan.
My husband and I planned our own spy adventure once.
It was fun! (& before kids)
I used to be a Rural Carrier for the USPS.
I want to build my own porch swing.
I could eat pizza everyday. I wouldn’t, but I could.
I like to be the one in charge. (I’m a lion on the personality/temperament test)
I like people but I really treasure my alone time.
I hate peas.
I want to work on an episode of Extreme Makeover – Home Edition.
I miss having fake nails.
I want to pierce my ears a few more times.
I have been to 32 states.
I have lived in 6 states.
My friend Kevin gave me away at my wedding.
I can leg press 200+ lbs.
I get irritated when I see spelling errors in the newspaper or magazines.
I am both very competitive and very forgiving.
I love to ski.
I’m a texture person (hate eating certain things – especially soggy bread – yuk!)
I’m a Compassion International sponsor to a little girl in Brazil named Sabrina.
My love language is gifts, and the close second is quality time.
I expect more from myself than I do others.
I’m too hard on myself.
I love blogging, both reading other blogs and creating my own.

Wow this is long. I’m definitely unique. I’m glad God made me who I am and I’m thankful he’s still changing and growing me. What would be on your list?

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Let me tell you about Jeff Robinson. He’s a 50 year old man from Texas that is walking to Denver to raise money for Dry Bones. He leaves Galveston, TX on April 1st and will arrive in Denver 101 days later, via a stop on top of Mt. Elbert. For those of you who read this regularly, that’s the mountain I climbed but didn’t summit. I know I said mountain climbing isn’t for me, but I’m considering trying again and summitting with this man for DB Denver. PLEASE go to his website to read all about him and his mission.

www.walkingtodenver.com

There is a short video presentation that explains who, what, when, where, why, and how. If you read my post from January entitled Turf Tour, Bible Study, and Shakespeares, you may remember the story of my Spades/Pool partner Don. A small part of his story is featured on this video. Benny and I just watched it and it was amazing to see some of the street kids I met and know that we are going to have a chance to impact their lives. I can not stress enough how important this ministry is!

I want to tell you about another blog I read. Larry James is the CEO of Central Dallas Ministries. He kicks my butt daily! (figuratively speaking ofcourse.) He is an amazing, compassionate man with the incredible ability to make us see the poor and needy of Dallas and the world. He has vision and hope and he shares that with everyone who will listen, or read. Larry is a busy man, but he took the time to answer the questions of this frazzled, frightened, and irritated woman about the adventure and calling of stepping out on faith to work with the homeless. If you look a little to your right you’ll see a link to his blog. Check it out!

Keep praying for our family as we begin our support raising. God Bless You!

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