Sometimes I Write

We got a dog today…sort of. Our neighbor brought over a dog and asked us if we want to adopt it. She’s a cute beagle/terrier mix and pretty calm so far, but I just don’t know. I’ve had pet allergies my whole life, I don’t need the responsiblity of a pet when I have three very busy children, and I don’t know the first thing about owning a dog. All of my friends are laughing their heads off right now reading this. ME of all people getting a dog on my birthday! Ironic. I don’t like dogs. I’m actually afraid of most of them. I was attacked by my friend’s dog when I was 15. I have a huge scar on the side of my face/ear where I had to have multiple stitches to repair the damage done. Ever since then – I don’t like dogs. I’m not even sure if I liked them before that. I’m not a cat person either, or gerbils, or birds, or any other pet. I am fully convinced that God made some people to love animals and some to just, well, tolerate them. Please, no hate mail from you animal freaks out there.

I’m a little disappointed. My birthday happend to fall on a Saturday this year. I’d love to be at the half price sale at ARC, and having chai with a friend. I’d love to be hanging out with my whole family or having a date with Benny. BUT, he’s working until 8 or 9 tonight, my friends are all busy and even if they weren’t, I don’t have a babysitter. The kids aren’t minding me very well today and now I have this dog to deal with and the stress of deciding whether or not to keep it. Benny said it was up to me…great. The light at the end of my tunnel is my upcoming night out with Rebecca, my college friend that lives here. Dinner and going to Sing Sings. Our friends Corey and Tricia are coming over at 6 to babysit until Benny gets home. Benny and I will do something to celebrate on Monday.

Thinking positively, I have received a lot of phone calls today – my Mom even sang to me. I feel special! 🙂

So what is it about birthdays that we get it in our heads that everything is supposed to be just perfect and go OUR way for the day? Is that even real life?

Last month one of my street friend’s birthdays happened to fall on a Thursday – which means she spent it with Dry Bones. At the feeding that night, a few of the kids got in a fight, and my friend also received some alleged bad news from another streetkid. My friend threw a huge fit, crying, yelling, and drawing as much attention to herself as possible. She said more than once – “And it’s my birthday – nothing is supposed to go wrong today”.

Where does that come from? At what point do we learn that the world is supposed to revolve around us every year on the anniversary of the day we were born? I think your birthday should be special. It’s a day to celebrate who you are and who you are becoming. But life is life every day of the year and sometimes stuff happens. Unplanned stuff.

What’s with people who say, “I don’t celebrate my birthday anymore”? Do they think they aren’t worthy of celebration? Are they just enduring each year as it comes and goes? That’s sad.

As a mom, I think I should get a present each year on each of my children’s birthdays…afterall…I did all of the work on the day they were born! haha

Technically I wasn’t born until 11:29 p.m., so my birthday only lasts for 31 minutes…or so my Mom used to joke.

Here’s some July 29th trivia for you:

Famous people born on this day:

Benito Mussonlini 1883
Clara Bow 1894
Peter Jennings 1938
Wil Wheaton 1972 (that could explain the crush since we were born on the same day in the same year…I wonder if he was born in Californina too?)

1754 – The first international boxing match was held. The 25-minute match was won when Jack Slack of Britain knocked out Jean Petit from France.
1890 – Artist Vincent van Gogh died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound in Auvers, France.
1914 – The first transcontinental telephone service was inaugurated when two people held a conversation between New York, NY and San Francisco, CA. (And now we can talk to someone on the other side of the world!)
1940 – John Sigmund of St. Louis, MO completed a 292-mile swim down the Mississippi River. The swim from St. Louis to Caruthersville, MO took him 89 hours and 48 minutes.
1950 – Disney’s adaptation of Robert Louis Stevenson’s “Treasure Island” was released.
1957 – Jack Paar began hosting the “Tonight” show on NBC-TV. The name of the show was changed to “The Jack Paar Show”. Paar was host for five years.
1958 – The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) was authorized by the U.S. Congress.
1968 – Pope Paul VI reaffirmed the Roman Catholic Church’s stance against artificial methods of birth control.
1981 – England’s Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer were married. (I watched it on t.v. on my 9th birthday – dreaming of being a princess myself one day)
2005 – Astronomers announced that they had discovered a new planet larger than Pluto in orbit around the sun.
2004 – The first episode of “Blue Collar TV” aired. That one is for Benny!;)

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I joked in this post about starting another blog about sex, love and marriage because the topic was so broad and the feedback was so good. Well, after seeking wise counsel and much prayer, I feel God has indeed led me to do just that. I’ll do the best I can though I may be posting only once a week on all three of my sites. We’ll see what happens next! Now go check it out!

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Have you ever visited a church and NO ONE talked to you? This happened to us last summer when we were looking for a new church family after our move to Denver. There is a large church just up the street from us and we thought we’d give it a try. We arrived early. There were several people milling about in the lobby and auditorium. We waited, looked around, and finally Benny went up to a guy who was handing out bulletins. “Can you tell me where the kid’s classes are?” The man thrust a bulletin in Benny’s hand and said, “I don’t think there are any kid’s classes today” and turned around to talk to someone he knew. I was shocked! I overheard a woman telling her kids to follow her to class, so we followed too. When we got there, I started to ask her where our kids should go and she told me there was no class teacher for Zoe’s class, but she was welcome to come to the Kindergarten/First grade class with her brother. I said I didn’t want her to do that because she was only 2 1/2. The lady looked at me like I was crazy and said, “It’s no big deal, I don’t mind”. I said, “but I do”. She muttered something under her breath. I was irritated about how we had been treated so far, that I gave Benny a pleading look and he said, “Let’s just go”. And we did. This all took place in about a 20 minute time period. Why would we want to be a part of a church that didn’t care about it’s visitors?

Fast forward to Halloween. This same church was advertising a Fall Festival party as an outreach to the community, so we thought we’d take the kids. They love dressing up in costumes and what kid doesn’t like free candy? We got there expecting a churchy party. We walked in and the place was packed. There was a frighteningly large blow up Dracula right by the door leading to the game rooms. I laughed at the mixed message. What were they thinking? The kids waited in long lines to play the games and win their few pieces of candy prizes. The only thing spoken to us that night was, “Excuse me ma’am, but the line starts over here“, and “Cute costumes”. There was absolutely NO outreach going on – unless they were thinking – “if they come to our party and we give them free candy maybe they’ll come to our church”. We were sorry we went.

Now to the present. We met a couple that has a homeless ministry through one of my BSF friends. We had them over for supper last week to talk about our ministries. Guess where they go to church?? They asked if we had ever visited there. I said, ” I was kind of hoping you wouldn’t bring that up” and laughed. We told them about our previous experiences with their church and they were surprised. They told us that they were having their annual church picnic on Sunday after service, and wanted us to come and be their guests…give them another shot. After telling them that we love our church family and weren’t planning on looking anywhere else, we agreed to go to the picnic.

We showed up and found them right away. They were with their parents, another man, and my friend from BSF and her husband – who don’t attend that church either. Other than talking with them and their group, the picnic didn’t go well. As I was going through the line, I asked a boy serving if I could have some macaroni salad. He gave me 3 pieces of macaroni – I’m not even kidding. I smiled and asked him if I could have a little more, and he (obviously irritated with me) said, “Well, we’re only supposed to give a little – there are a lot of people in line to feed”, and gave me a little more anyway. I was stunned. Let’s just say that it was obvious I was a visitor. I was taught to give visitors special attention, but not in a negative way. This was unreal. We stayed and ate with our hosts, but Benny was in a hurry to take the kids to play, then go home. I didn’t know why, but I assumed it was because AGAIN, nobody talked to us – besides our hosts. I found out why Benny was so mad when we were walking back to the car. When he was in line with Max, a man made a comment to Max and Benny commented back and tried to start a conversation with him. In the middle of Benny talking to him, the man grabbed his hand to shake it and said, “God bless you” and turned and walked away. That was the last straw…
When we left, our hosts said, “Well, we’ll keep you posted on activities and we’re hoping you’ll come back and give our church another try. I was thinking “There’s no way…”

So, do we write a letter to the church Pastor and tell him all of this? Do we just turn down their invites? It was weird feeling like such an outsider with church people. I wondered if that was how all visitors felt? No wonder it’s so intimidating for new people in churches. No wonder there are so many that never come back. If I wanted to be part of a secluded, inward focused group of people, I’d join a country club. The church isn’t supposed to be one. I hope this church is in the minority. It’s sad that this attitude is out there at all. I heard it said that most churches consider themselves friendly. Would those who visit say the same about them?

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O.K. Here are my thoughts on the article featuring my friend Chris. If you skipped over reading that post, go read it now, then come back here.

I don’t know why Chris started blogging. I hope it was the pressure Adam, Brock and I put on him at camp last year! (jk) He has some great things to say and he has such a passion for teens and other people God puts in his life. I was excited that someone thought enough of him (and blogging) to do an article on him and his blog. This is one of those rare occasions you’ll hear me applauding a newspaper for their work.

I raise my glass to anyone who is blogging to better mankind by uplifting and encouraging others. I applaud the courage it takes to post your thoughts for the world to read knowing there will be many who disagree with you or just don’t understand. I give mad props to my friends that are working out their Christian walk whether it be by struggling through the tough questions we are faced with, or trying to leap out of the status quo of churchianity.

That being said, I was disappointed to read of ministers implying that blogging is a waste of precious soul-winning time, It’s just a place for “brain dumps”, and not a way to draw people to Christ. I totally get not having much time to blog – I have a husband to dote on, three small children – which I homeschool, our Dry Bones ministry, the worship team, and two other ministries I’m involved in. I cook, clean, do laundry, run errands, lead a Bible Study for women, have regular chiropractic appointments, blah blah blah. EVERYONE is busy – welcome to our world. I acknowledge that blogging is not for everyone – just like homeschooling and tattoos aren’t for everyone. (Welcome to MY world!)

Here’s my problem with Mr. Davis, Mr. Jeffress and Mr. Counterman’s comments – in order. But first I have this one little disclaimer – I don’t know these men and had to take their comments at face value. That’s where my distrust of the media comes into play. I can’t know for sure if these things were meant to sound as they did. I assume they were, since I know people that would say similar things about blogging and bloggers.

Mr. Davis assumes that Chris and his counterparts are blogging “on church time” with his comment about “must have a good staff that allows them to sit and do that”. He is right to say some bloggers are all about debating and not truth. Not all of us are. His efforts are spent “studying and drawing people into the church environment to reveal truth to them in a systematic way”. Oh boy – I could have another whole post just about that comment alone. Here’s the condensed version. TRUTH IS NOT REVEALED IN THE CHURCH ENVIRONMENT ALONE! Systematic way? IT’S ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS. We are not called to bring people into the church to teach them truth. We are called to GO to the people – read the book of Matthew – or better yet – look at Jesus’ example throughout his life. He didn’t start the “First Church of Jesus” and invite everyone to join him there. He went to the people and eventually they went where he went. Moving on…

Mr. Jeffress raised the question of time. I already addressed that. He said, “I think people are more interested in hearing what God’s Word says about a subject than to read my musings”. (Rabbit trail – that’s the title of one of my other friend’s blogs –MUSINGS ;)) I think he’s mostly wrong. First of all, it may not be all Christians reading the blog. Those who aren’t don’t know or care what God’s word says. A blog could be the place they are introduced to Christ…who knows? Secondly, My preacher friend Bill uses scripture and his own musings about life and faith to reach the masses. Again, Jesus led the way when He used stories to explain and teach biblical truths. I want to read about how God is working in, stretching, and growing faith in other people’s lives. It beats some of the excrement lining our library and bookstore bookshelves! He also said he’d “question any attempt by one of his associate pastors to blog regularly”. Wow. Tough boss. Maybe he too was thinking about the guys blogging during office hours. I have found that it’s a great way to reach out to people…including those in my church. And I know for many of my blogging youth minister friends it’s a way to reach out to the teens in their youth groups. What are all those office hours for anyway?

On to Mr. Counterman. Again with the time thing. He is rightly concerned with the dangers of blogging – people stumbling onto your blog not knowing you and where your comments are coming from. As far as retraction statements – say what you mean and mean what you say and you shouldn’t have to worry about that. His “brain dumps” comment made me laugh. You’re reading my brain dump right now. That’s what blogs are my friend – you putting your thoughts into written words and throwing them out there hoping they are read by someone who needs them. Or just throwing them out there because you want to without expecting a response. It’s my need to be heard that keeps me writing and my being a lexiphiliac (lover of words) that keeps me reading other people works. I like that my blog doesn’t have to be well thought out all the time. Sometimes this is the place I work through my thoughts. I’m never concise – sounds like a guy thing to say – Mr. Counterman would hate my blog. I can deal with that. I’m sorry he’s missing out on all those bloggers who aren’t bitter, criticizing people. With 75,000 new blogs being created everyday (according to the article) you’d think maybe some of them would be used for good and not evil. 😉

Back to the heros of the story (hehe). Kudos to Mr. Stanford for using the web to connect with others and leave his mark. And Chris…he says he doesn’t know why he has a blog. I think he does know. He says he doesn’t share anything profound – yet he points the way to Christ in several of his posts. Even if he only posts periodically, he’s worthy of your time because he’s doing his best to be the man God created him to be. That’s good enough for me!

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How often do you say those words? To whom do you say them? Is it hard to say them? Do you feel wierd when they are spoken to you? Do you say them to everyone with a flippant “Love ya” as if it’s just a goodbye? Have you ever accidentally said it to someone before hanging up the phone and then not known what to do about it? Should you apologize or joke about it? Will it make the situation more embarassing? How many diffferent tones can you have in your voice when you say it? Doesn’t it sound different when you say it to a child? To your lover? To your friend?

When you haven’t heard these words most of your life, they can be life itself. When you’ve heard them spoken frequently and without emotion, they lose a bit of their power and they become just words. Our tongues have the power to heal or destroy.

My friend Paula spoke these words to me the other day. I was speaking words of healing and encouragement to her as she so often does for me. At the end of our chat, she said, “I love you”. We are bonded as sisters in Christ and we are a blessing to each other, but I was caught off guard because I think it was the first time she had said that to me. I instinctively said it back and then felt silly. Not because I don’t love her back, but because I was repeating what she had said first. It got me thinking…

I do love Paula. I love all of my friends – fiercely and passionately – guys and girls alike. I am a loyal friend and I would do just about anything for them, but sometimes it feels wierd to say “I love you”. I know with my guy friends, I tend to speak more from my family, or Benny and I both. I’ve said, “We love you ____” so I wouldn’t make them (or me) feel wierd hearing “I love you” from a married woman. I guess that’s what is appropriate. My friend Nat and I pray together on the phone on Monday nights. We tell each other “I love you” all the time. Why does it feel wierd for one friend and not another? I don’t think it’s the length of the friendship – I have people I’ve been friends with for years that I don’t say that to. Maybe it’s the depth of the friendship. My brother Lennie and I talk several times a week and we always say “I love you” before we hang up – it’s what my family does. Benny and I never go a day without saying it to each other. We whisper it into each child’s ear as we tuck them in at night. We tell our friends we love them. Benny’s sounds more like, “Love you man”. 😉

Those are just some thoughts floating around in my head. Do I say it enough? Do I say it too much? Do the people I love know that I love them? I’ve often heard the saying, “Actions speak louder than words”, and while that’s true, when it comes to love, saying it is just as important as showing it. I think I’ll go call Paula back…

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