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August’s De-cluttering Challenge – Clothing

Posted in De-cluttering, Family, Works for me on September 6, 2011| 4 Comments »

I swear I’m not sprinkling miracle grow on my children’s food, but Max has gone through 4 shoe sizes and 2 clothing sizes so far this year! His brother and sister have also hit growth spurts which means it’s time to shop. Being homeschoolers, we don’t usually feel the pressure to arrive at the end of August with new wardrobes. Although they did ask for new pajamas, I’m sure that had nothing to do with our schooling. *wink*

I said usually, so here we are in September and I’m tired of the incessant nagging about the need for new clothes. The kids are bothering me about it too, but before shopping for bigger sizes, we had to get rid of the smaller stuff. In true leadership fashion, I started with my closet and dresser then took turns with each of the kids sorting theirs. Here is my 5 step method:

1.  Make 2 piles on the bed: Donate and Trash. Start with the closet and work from top to bottom and left to right.

Does it fit?

If not, let it go. I don’t play the size game. I don’t need 8 shirts I hope to fit into in the next year. When I lose weight, I’ll reward myself with some new shirts instead of ice cream.

Am I comfortable when I wear it?

If not, I probably haven’t worn it in months and it doesn’t belong next to my beloved favorites.

Does it need repairs?

If yes, I usually let someone else repair and wear it. I can sew buttons and seams and that’s about as far as I’m willing to go.

When did I last wear it?

Unless it’s seasonal, I’m ruthless. If it’s been more than a month or two, I get rid of it. There’s a reason for not wearing the clothes you have, and it doesn’t require a therapist to figure it out. Repeat the previous questions to get to the bottom of the issue and move on.

Is it a good color for me?

This one is tricky and makes me wonder if I might need therapy. I wear A LOT of black. I’m talking a 6 to 1 ratio to any other color in my closet which means teal and brown get a small shout out and there might be a blue thrown in there somewhere. I work with street people and dark colors help me blend in better. I’m also a round, red-headed, blue-green eyed, fair-skinned woman. Teals, browns, and greens look fabulous on me. Black is slimming (nobody really believes that, right?) and trendy. Ha!  Besides, all of those colors match my sleeve tattoo. That’s an important fashion detail for me.;)

2.  Moving on to the dresser, I repeat the same questions as above except for the sock/underwear drawer. Old and single socks go into the cleaning rag-bag and underwear beyond repair end up in the trash. Why are they still in there anyway??

3. Shoes. Our house is not overrun by them, so fast growing feet is a bit of a challenge. Everyone has a pair of athletic type shoes and either Crocs (Benny & the kids) or flip-flops (me), and Zoe and I each have a pair of sandals. In warm weather I wear my five-finger shoes about 6 days a week.

I seriously LOVE these shoes. I even got one of our summer interns hooked on them. Max is begging me for a pair of his own. I told him maybe for his 21st birthday or when his feet have stopped growing, whichever comes first.

4.  Seasonal items like winter coats, snow pants, hats, and gloves, and swimming suits are sorted too so we’re ready for the next season, then the previous season’s clothes go in a tub up in the closet.

5.  Max takes the trash out, Zoe takes the donation bag to the van, and Pete…well…that boy needs to step up and get a job instead of standing there with his cute little grin.

There you go. Another de-cluttering month to brag about to you fine people. One last thing before I move on to September’s challenge (which I completed today). I have 2 very important clothing philosophies:

When donating: Be a helper, not a hoarder. If I’m not using it, I know there are lots of people out there that need it. I start with my friends. I pass clothing on to them instead of storing them, but I don’t pass along crap that needs to be thrown away. That’s just rude.

Check out local charities to find out who needs what and how to schedule a donation pick up by visiting:

http://www.donationtown.org/news/donate-clothes.html

When buying new stuff: Be smart and buy what you love and will wear. I don’t buy items just because they’re on sale and there’s a 30% chance I’ll wear it in the future. I ask myself the same questions I ask when I’m de-cluttering so I won’t have buyer’s remorse the next time.

There was nothing weird to report this time, but I’ll bet some of you have stories.

What’s the strangest or funniest item of clothing you’ve de-cluttered?

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Gratituesday: Mommy, Zoe, and the Parenting Time Line

Posted in Family, Gratituesday, Parenting, thinking things through on February 9, 2011| 11 Comments »

My Zoe is the sweetest girl. In the 8 years she’s been brightening up this planet, she has taught me nearly as much as I aim to teach her. I don’t remember anyone ever telling me that parenting a little girl would be this big of a learning experience for a momma. Guiding such a beautiful creature through the minefield of childhood has forced me to swiftly unpack and de-clutter my baggage so that I don’t pass it on to her. It’s not hers to carry, and just having her around like a mini-me mirror has made me painfully (and joyfully) aware that I don’t have to continue carrying it either.

Before I ever saw girl parts on an ultrasound, I knew that’s what we were having, and I was terrified. Paralyzing questions plagued my dreams and my fierce, mama bear heart grew stronger with each stretch of my belly. How would I protect her? How would I teach her to protect herself? I know these words are telling as much as I know that it is difficult to be the daughter of a survivor and I want more for her than that legacy. As is the pattern of my life, when I was sure I’d be overwhelmed, God stepped in and calmed my fears with two simple, difficult, beautiful words, “Trust Me.”

I was reminded that the very first mother had no mother of her own to call for advice. It was just her and God. She had no other option but to trust Him. Choice sometimes makes things harder, don’t you think? If Eve could do it without the support that I have from the incredible women in my life, then I can certainly do it. Have you ever trusted God out of sheer determination to do so? Or are you giggling at my silliness? 😉

How do I parent my pink-loving spitfire of a child? Very purposefully.

Like all children, she knows how to stall at bed time, and her favorite excuse goes something like this: “Can we have Mommy/Zoe time tonight?” (Cue the dimples and the sparkling chocolate-brown eyes) And when the answer is yes, we lie on her bed and star gaze as we chat about her tragedies and triumphs, and dream about the future. I answer her questions in honest, age appropriate language, and ask her some of my own. It’s in this place of comfort that we giggle and listen to Beethoven at Bedtime, talk about her first crush – JB, how annoying her brothers are, her crazy unique fashion sense, and whether or not I think she’s pretty. Yes, she’s already asking that one a lot. This time is precious to us both, but she needs her sleep, so we either need to find a better Mommy/Zoe time of the day, or she needs to go to bed earlier.  It’s imperative I work that out because my window of opportunity is shrinking. Want proof?

Try this eye-opening exercise:

Take out a sheet of paper and turn it horizontally. Draw a straight line across the paper. At the beginning of the line, make a mark indicating the day you were born. Now keep making marks across the line to represent every five years of your life until you reach 100. Next, mark off the years you spent in school (K-12, college if you attended, etc.), your wedding date if you’re married, and any other major life events you’ve experienced so far. Mark off the year you plan to retire. Here’s where it gets interesting. Make a mark on your time line to represent when your child was born, then tick off 18 years – assuming he/she moves out of your home at that age. If you have multiple children, put them on your time line too. Now put down your pencil. What do you see?

When someone taught me this exercise several years ago, it helped me put the “toddler and 2 babies in diapers” phase of my life in perspective. I needed this visual to convince me that the day would come when everyone in my house would be wiping themselves, they would grow up and eventually move out on their own, it had not taken up my entire life, and though I was a mom, I was so much more than that. There is life before and after kids.

I am grateful for this parenting time-line exercise and now and then I repeat it. But now it’s to remind me that my window is a small one and I want to savor these Mommy/Zoe moments while I can because one of these days I’m going to blink and she’ll be having those moments with her own child.

Join us for Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers!

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Saying Goodbye

Posted in Family, Learning to Cope on November 8, 2009| 7 Comments »

Five years ago, my 2nd blog post was about thoughts on death. My grandmother had died a few weeks prior to writing it and I found myself in a melancholy mood as I thought about some of the people I had lost in my life. I didn’t get to say goodbye to any of them. They were all sudden and unexpected, as I guess most deaths are, but today’s loss was not. I knew it was coming. My mom and I have been talking about it for a few weeks, and I encouraged her to say what she needed to say to her sister before she passed on because she didn’t get that chance when she lost her mom. Thankfully, she was able to spend some sweet time with my aunt last weekend before Aunt Sharon took a turn for the worse and was hospitalized.

It’s been an agonizing week for my aunt and her family as well as my extended family. She’s been in poor health the past few years enduring two kidney transplants, a heart attack,  and surviving breast cancer. This on top of a debilitating disease I can’t pronounce, being deaf without her hearing aides, and suffering from a myriad of illnesses. She was a fighter, but the latest cancer – this time in her liver and spreading – got the best of her. She came down with pneumonia a little over a week ago, and spiraled downhill from there. Within a few days, she wasn’t making any sense when she talked, or recognizing her husband and children. Family members started hanging out at the hospital around the clock so she wouldn’t be alone unless she was sleeping, then tonight we all had to say goodbye. Surrounded by people who loved her, she went to be with Jesus.

I won’t be there to grieve with the family or attend the funeral, so I wanted to write a tribute to her here and share a few memories. This picture was taken by my photographer cousin Lisa, who shared a special bond (and one of her kidneys) with Aunt Sharon. I don’t know when it was taken, and I didn’t get permission to post it here, so please forgive me Lisa! I didn’t have any recent pictures of her.

Aunt Sharon

When I was very small, Aunt Sharon used to babysit me and my brothers so my mom could go to work. It was REALLY early in the morning when we would arrive and she’d put cartoons on for us, cover us with blankets, and give us cereal. I always felt welcome at her house.

I took an art class one summer during elementary school. One day I arrived at school only to open the door and catch it over my sandals, ripping the nail up from my big toe. Instead of going inside to get help, I left a bloody trail as I ran/walked/hopped all the way to Aunt Sharon’s house a few blocks away so she could take care of me. I knew she could make it all better, and she did.

When I was an awkward teenager, she’d run her fingers through my curly hair (I called it frizzy), and tell me I was beautiful and that she loved me. She was always praising me and telling me how talented I was.

No one could top Aunt Sharon’s apple pie. Forget the 9″ round pan. The woman used a 1/2 sheet cake pan, made her own crust and filling, baked and frosted it, and served it in huge slices. The very last time I saw her, I enjoyed a big apple pie slice!

When I remember Aunt Sharon, I’ll think of the memories I’ve already shared here, the Mt. Dew she drank when I was a kid, the hundreds of pieces of Elvis memorabilia she had, her sense of humor and the way she’d lightly slap my arm at the punch line as she let me in on whatever joke she was telling, and the video I have of her doing her best to rip through a deck of cards, something my brother Lennie and I taught her a few years ago. 🙂

She was good to me and I will miss her! She leaves behind a husband, daughter, son, daughter-in-law, grandson, and a huge extended family. Please pray for them all as they too say goodbye.

In loving memory, I end this post with my favorite song by her favorite artist. I don’t know if she had a favorite song by Elvis, but I can’t think of either of them without thinking of the other one too. For you Aunt Sharon…

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Date night with Max

Posted in Family, Joy in the Journey on July 1, 2009| 3 Comments »

Max and I went on a date tonight. My spunky nine year old is so funny, and I don’t mean in a telling jokes sort of way. Earlier today I told Benny I was going to see Transformers, and he suggested I take Max with me. I almost said no because it was my kid-free day (I need those every now and then) and he had already seen the movie with Benny. It didn’t make sense to me to pay for him to see it again. Then I remembered that he had been asking me when we were going to have a Mommy-Max date again. It had been awhile, so I changed my mind.

When I pulled into the driveway to pick him up, he hopped into the van before I had come to a complete stop. He was all smiles and had put on his nicest clothes for our date, and he chatted the whole way to the theater. I lost track of how many times he said, “You’re going to love this Mommy!” If you know me, then you know my son. Max has his mother’s worst and best traits, which sometimes drives me crazy. He takes “detail oriented” to a whole new level! Max told me that we needed to sit in the exact same seats he and his Popa had occupied a few days earlier. (Insert rolling eyes here!) He explained where the speakers were in relation to our seats so we’d have the best sound possible. He told me what previews were coming up next, and he pointed out that I needed to turn off my cell phone – bossy little thing. 🙂

We loved the movie, and had a good time comparing notes while walking back to the van. Tonight I watched my son in amazement. He soaks everything in and categorizes it by whatever system is clicking away in his brain. He’s smart and articulate, kind hearted, and friendly. He smiles at strangers and holds doors for people. He notices details that I miss, then launches into talking about the weather. Tomorrow he’ll wake up and check ebay for Transformers stuff and draw Autobots all over the place. He’s such a predictable kid, and he’s so…well…good. I must be doing something right.

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Simplifying Life & Saving Money, Part 1

Posted in Family, Random, Works for me on March 14, 2009| 10 Comments »

I’ve lost track of how many books I’ve read on organizing, simplifying, and finding inexpensive alternatives to the way we Americans live life.  Making our home in Colorado and planting a ministry in Boulder has made me take a serious look at my wasteful habits.  This part of the country is known for recycling, being green, all-natural or organic products and living a healthier, simpler life.  Before moving here I joked about never again having to shave my legs and us selling the car to buy a bicycle built for 5.  Though neither of those things have happened, I’ve found several ways to make life easier and less expensive.

Last Fall, Benny suggested we try making our own laundry soap to save money. I was skeptical partly because of Pete’s sensitive skin, but mostly because I thought it sounded like more trouble than it was worth.  He made the first batch and now I’m a believer and sharing this recipe with everyone from my friends to the check out girl at the grocery store.  This stuff really works and it gets our clothes clean and fresh.  The best part?  It costs less than $3.00 per batch to make, and a batch yields 10 gallons.  That’s not a typo.  There are several recipes available online, but this is the one I like the best.  All of the items needed can be purchased from your local grocery store or WalMart.  I found the soap and washing soda at the grocery store.  To buy the ingredients for the first time, you’ll spend about $15.00, but you’ll have plenty left over for future batches or to share with friends.  You might even consider going in with friends to purchase some of the supplies needed.

Homemade Laundry Soap

You’ll need:  A 5 gallon bucket, 1 bar of Fels-Naptha Soap, 1 cup of Borax, 1 cup of Arm & Hammer Washing Soda (NOT the same as baking soda), and hot tap water

1.  Grate the bar of soap and add to 4 cups of hot water in a saucepan.  Stir continually over medium-low heat until soap dissolves and is melted.

2. Fill a 5 gallon bucket half full of hot tap water.  Add melted soap, washing soda, and Borax.  Stir well until all powder is dissolved.  Fill the bucket to the top with more hot water.  Stir, cover, and let it sit overnight to thicken.

3. Stir and fill a used, clean, hand held laundry soap bottle/dispenser half full with soap and then fill the rest of the way up with water.  Shake before each use.  (It will gel but not be completely smooth.)

*Optional: If you want a scented soap you can add 10-15 drops of essential oil per 2 gallons.  Add it once the soap has cooled.  Ideas: Lavender, Rosemary, tea tree oil, etc.  We keep ours plain.  Also, I still add bleach for our whites, and Oxi-clean for the kid’s grimy jeans.

Yields 10 gallons of liquid soap.  For use:

Top-loading machines: 5/8 cup per load (approximately 180 loads)

Front loading machines: 1/4 cup per load (approximately 640 loads)


The New Dryer Sheets

1. Choose your favorite fabric softener and a few regular sponges.

2. Mix 1 part fabric softener with 2 parts water in a container. (I use a ziploc jar with a screw on lid.)

3. Cut the sponges in half and put them in the container with the softener mixture.

When you need a dryer sheet, pull out a sponge and squeeze the liquid out until it doesn’t drip.  Toss it in the dryer.  After use, put it back in the container to use again.

I don’t know how long this mixture lasts, but these two recipes alone will save me over $200 per year.  I think it’s worth it.

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